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13 Going on 30 A Bennett   Giant Overlord Multiplex - Cherry Icee for me   24 April 2004 Yes, K Schrock, she could be more appealing! If she'd also held a tiny kitten in all of her scenes.

16 Blocks Steve Gadd   Countryside Megaplex   11 March 2006 Servicable New York cop thriller. Bruce Willis breaks new ground as a divorced, burned-out, alcoholic, smartass detective who is also left-handed.

A Beautiful Mind Steve Gadd   DVD at home   22 August 2002 Now we know why Mr. Crowe was expecting that Oscar. Great portrayal of the life of a disturbed genius.

A Mighty Wind Tony Pisarenkov   AMC Desert Ridge, Paradise Valley, AZ   25 May 2003 Chrisopher Guest lays it on a little thick in this one, but still very much in his element. If you enjoyed any of his previous films ("This Is Spinal Tap," "Waiting for Guffman" or "Best in Show"), this is a must-see.

Adam's Rib Julie Gephart   Canadian cable, eh   16 May 2004 Hebpurn and Tracy are lawyers debating that age old question, “If your husband is a cheater and a beater, should you really have to go to jail for shooting off his ear?”

Adaptation Ray Hunley   DVD   02 September 2003 We open on Hunley logging on to Gadd's movie page... Nice performances from Nicolas Cage, Chris Cooper and Brian Cox, a couple good one-liners, and self-referential gimmickry, and that's about it. Try Mamet's "Things Change" or read some Hofstadter instead.

Aguirre, the Wrath of God Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   22 October 2005 The film that started the Herzog-Kinski collaboration. Rough around the edges, to be sure, but still well worth seeing.

American Psycho Steve Gadd   DVD   24 January 2006 Christian Bale looked a lot healthier before his self-imposed starvation for "The Machinist." Here he plays a Wall Street big shot with an unfortunate taste for blood. We're not sure how much we got the old Unreliable Narrator treatment.

An Engineer's Assistant Jaqi Ross   National Gallery of Art   21 February 2004 In the early 1960s, following a train crash, the National Railroad Company in Japan commissioned the distinguished documentary filmmaker Noriaki Tuschimoto to do a short promotion for a new safety device. The film he finally shot, however, is a paean to an engineer's assistant working an obsolete steam locomotive on the same track.

Arabesque Julie Gephart   Basic cable   04 July 2003 Overly witty spy thriller brought back pleasant memories of the old Mission Impossible TV series. Tip: If you’re ever a spy looking for a place to hide, try Sophia Loren’s shower. You won’t be sorry.

Austin Powers III Mike Gadd   dvd at home   30 March 2003 They still have a formula that has it's moments. I was near tears at times. The sight gags don't do much for me but I loved the more low key humor. I'm amazed this came out with a PG-13 rating. This would have been an R 10 years ago, but times are changing. I even heard the s-word on the USA network last night.

Bad Santa Tony Pisarenkov   Loews Tenleytown, Washington, DC   20 December 2003 Just the kind of misanthropic, off-color, politically incorrect antidote to the feel-good monstrosity that Christmas has become that I needed.

Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever Julie Gephart   Theater   06 October 2002 This movie was not nearly so bad as I was expecting from the reviews. Sure, the plot was silly and extremely poorly edited, but the action suited me fine. And by "the action," I of course mean "Lucy Liu, Killing Machine" and not "all those irrelevant explosions and car chases."

Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever Kristin Schrock   DVD   01 January 2003 The "plot" keeps this from being a good B-flick on par with Reign of Fire. Lucy Liu is cool and there's this scene where she pulls these club-like things out of her coat and proceeds to kick all sorts of a**. But it fails in the way that I think Sleepless in Seattle fails--it keeps it's two leads apart for too long. But its not the worst movie in the world, although I have already broken my resolution to stop watching crappy movies.

Barbershop A Bennett   Rented DVD viewed during Detroit layover   07 September 2003 Smile-level funny, but no belly laughs. Understandable response, perhaps, after transcontinental red-eye flight.

Batman Begins Mike Gadd   Family Drive-In   31 July 2005 The magic of the drive-in has pretty much worn off. If it was ever there. Initially the uniqueness of the setting and the ability to unashamedly eat chinese take-out made a poor movie not seem so bad. Eventually you realize that sitting in your car to watch a movie isn't everything you'd hope for. Especially if it's raining or muggy out. You can't keep your car running to turn the air on to defog your winshield or run your wipers because the newer cars automatically turn on the headlights. This action is frowned upon. You do get to see 2 movies for your troubles. This one was the first. Needless to say there was much lost in the translation to the outdoor screen.

Battlestar Galactica (2003) Julie Gephart   Basic cable   10 December 2003 During the first half, I was ready to give it rave reviews – beautifully shot, strong characters, gripping story. During the second half, I was watching the clock and waiting for it to be over. How it fell apart so completely is still a mystery to me, except maybe that all of the human drama was in the first half.

Be Cool Steve Gadd   Fairfax Town Center   04 March 2005 Elmore Leonard has become a black hole whose powers of attraction draw in all kinds of talent. There are a dozen "As Him/Herself" listings in the credits. The comedy is entertaining enough, though an encyclopedic knowledge of Hollywood and music lore would help with the industry in-jokes.

Big Fish Jaqi Ross   Hollywood Video rental   15 August 2004 The story revolves around a dying father and his son, who is trying to learn more about his dad by piecing together the stories he has gathered over the years. The son winds up re-creating his father's elusive life in a series of legends and myths inspired by the few facts he knows. Through these tales, the son begins to understand his father's great feats and his great failings.

Big Trouble Steve Gadd   DVD at home   12 November 2002 Based on a Dave Barry book, the Elmore Leonard-style comedy has its moments. Probably the last time Johnny Knoxville and Martha Stewart will appear in a movie together.

Black Cloud Ray Hunley   DVD   15 August 2005 While not breaking any new ground, this film nevertheless was an engaging portrait of an amateur boxer from the Navajo nation.

Blood Simple Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   24 March 2005 M. Emmet Walsh is, as always, brilliant, but the Coens' best work was ahead of them.

Blue Sky Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   15 February 2003 Has Jessica Lange ever done a movie where her character was not spiraling further and further out of control on a path of self-destruction? With some Jessica Lange, Tommy Lee Jones, and even a young Chris O'Donnell, you can't have an entirely unpleasant viewing experience.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Tony Pisarenkov   The Avalon Theatre, Washington, DC   08 December 2006 Very cringe-inducing, but definitely had its moments.

Bowling for Columbine Tony Pisarenkov   Harkins Camelview 6, Scottsdale, AZ   19 November 2002 A documentary that attempts to examine the foundations of gun violence in the US and how it is related to gun ownership. Unfocused, attempts to cover too many extraneous issues, does not even provide a hypothesis much less attempts an answer, but manages to be somewhat thought-provoking anyway.

Bridget Jones's Diary Steve Gadd   DVD   11 March 2005 A rom-com classic.

Broadway: The Golden Age Jennifer Strang   Landmark E Street Theatre   15 August 2004 A mostly entertaining documentary about the "golden age" of broadway - roughly 1940-1960 - as seen through the eyes of the actors and actresses who lived it. If you enjoy broadway, its exciting to listen to some of the greats, including Carol Burnett, Robert Goulet, and Angela Lansbury, among many others, describe their experiences. However, for those not interested in this topic, the documentary could easily be boring and tedious. Unfortunately, even for those intereseted in the topic, as I am, the editing is substandard. Not enough old footage and way too much rambling. Nonetheless, a worthwhile experience overall for fans of broadway.

Broken Flowers Chris   Theater   07 August 2005 Jim Jarmusch's latest is like all his others...slow, measured, understated. Unfortunately, this one's a little too much of all of those things to get high marks.

Bruce Almighty Steve Gadd   Reston Town Center   01 June 2003 Jim keeps the God gag rolling for an hour and a half.

Bruce Almighty Mike Gadd   borrowed dvd   14 February 2004 This movie certainly had its moments. Too bad most of them were covered in the previews.

Bubba Ho-tep Steven Krise   TiVo in my basement   13 February 2007 An existential tale of how Elvis (masquerading as an Elvis impersonator) and the brain of JFK (in the body of an elderly black man) rediscover Lebensfreude whilst battling a cowboy mummy (the eponymous Bubba Hotep).

Bulletproof Monk Kristin Schrock   DVD   21 September 2003 I probably shouldn't claim this one since I fell asleep through large portions in the middle. This was not my choice of a rental. Chow and Sean William Scott manage to have a great deal of chemistry despite being saddled with a weak script. That's about all I can say about it.

Caddie Woodlawn Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   07 March 2003 A hundred times better than Pippi Longstocking, but I think from now on I had better stick with just reading the childhood classics. Jolly Uncle Edmond was transformed into a goofy boob played by Parker Stevenson, and good old Robert Ireton was reduced to nothing more than a rabid pit bull whose only character trait seemed to be that he really, really, really wanted to kill some Injuns.

Capote Steve Gadd   DVD   08 April 2006 Seymour does some good work, but I found the pace a touch slow.

Casino Royale Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   17 March 2007 Eh...

Children Underground Tony Pisarenkov   DVD chez J.&C.   01 February 2008 A documentary about the infamous orphans of Bucharest, who found themselves on the streets when the orphanages closed after the fall of Causescu. A little hard to evaluate -- the subject matter is so foreign to an average American viewer that the footage doesn't seem real a lot of the time. The minimally produced, fly-on-the-wall style, and a complete lack of polemics doesn't help. Still, powerful and very sad.

Cleopatra (1963) Julie Gephart   Basic cable   09 May 2004 Five hours long, and there weren't even any elves.

Coach Carter Steve Gadd   DVD   30 July 2005 Brought back memories of "White Shadow," plus Samuel L. Jackson has the Jaime Escalante thing going on.

Constantine Kristin Schrock   DVD   26 August 2005 The story is compelling--Constantine is trying to buy his way back into heaven by sending demons back to hell (the short-lived TV series Brimstone had a similar premise). He's reluctant, angry, and damned. Unfortunately, he's played by Keanu Reeves (who is clearly channeling Clint Eastwood). The best part--Tilda Swinton shows up as Gabriel.

Coyote Waits A Bennett   TiVo'd from PBS' Mystery!   20 November 2003 Never tangle with an historian on the road to fame, glory, and academic immortality. You just might end up dead. In this adaptation of a Tony Hillerman novel, a professor (and Bodhi--Mr. Jenna--Elfman) attempts to prove Butch Cassidy lived beyond the Bolivian stand-off to return to the US and ultimately die on a rez. Is it weird that a film executive produced by Robert Redford freely references his film "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"? Any film mystery is only as good as its characters and the actors playing them. Thanks to Adam Beach, Wes Studi, and others in the predominantly First Nations (but widely multi-racial) cast, this one is pretty good. Not to mention that you can't really go wrong starting your film out with a Patsy Cline tune, followed by a Conway Twitty chaser. Also, points for a discussion of fractals.

Criminal Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   10 October 2005 I might have rated it higher if I hadn't already seen the original. John C. Reilly and Diego Luna try to con each other - one of them succeeds.

Daddy Daycare Mike Gadd   $2 theater   25 July 2003 Take a big bowl and mix one cup each of Mr. Mom, Happy Texas, and Bill Cosby. Add a measure of sappy heart-string pulling and stir for an hour and 43 minutes. Batter will be slightly lumpy.

Dances With Wolves Julie Gephart   Basic cable   14 November 2003 I thought I could overcome my Kevin Costner revulsion enough to enjoy this movie, but it didn’t go so well. Clearly if the guy had eyes, he would have shacked up with the super-hot Wind in His Hair instead of puffhead Mary McDonnell. How on earth they thought they could get away with giving her Van Halen hair when the rest of the tribe had clearly mastered the process of combing and braiding is beyond me, but I found it very disturbing.

Dark Water Kristin Schrock   DVD   12 February 2006 My beau works at half price books and can check out DVDs. So we end up watching movies we wouldn't ordinarily rent because it's free and we're cheap. Hence, Dark Water--which adds water to list of the ordinary things that are creepy (right below corn). Inexplicably, it has real stars in it. Apparently, these stars never saw the Ring because this is pretty much the same movie--without the well.

Demolition Man Julie Gephart   Basic cable   23 November 2002 Wesley Snipes is a crazy killer who escapes cryo-freeze into a peaceful future full of naive dimwits. Unable to deal, dimwits decide to unfreeze his crazy cop nemesis (Stallone) so that he can be sure to blow up the few buildings Snipes missed. The thing is, these guys were frozen for THIRTY YEARS. All of the dimwits call them Neanderthals and can't begin to understand anything about this mysterious "20th century" from which they come. Thirty years ago. Yeah, I don't get it either. Still, it's a passable enough entry in the testosteraction genre, and Sandra Bullock manages to sparkle even as a dimwit.

Distant Jennifer Strang   Landmark E Street Theater, Washington, DC   25 July 2004 Beautifully filmed with gorgeous shots of Istanbul and Anatolia; however, very heavy handed in its portrayal of social isolation. In other words, it smacks you over the head with bleakness to the point that, well, it becomes a little tiresome. But, it gets points for the wonderful cinematography.

Dog Days Jaqi Ross   Hollywood video rental   18 August 2004 Winner of the Grand Special Jury Prize at the 2001 Venice Film Festival, Austrian director Ulrich Seidl's "strangly entertaining first feature" (LA Times) shows everyday people leading extravagantly sordid lives. A teacher who is in bondage to a sleazy pimp, a very importunate hitchhiker, a private detective on the run for some car vandalists, a couple with a serious marriage problem and an old man, whose wife died long before on the search for some sexual entertainment live their lifes while their lifelines cross from time to time. Not recommended.

Down with Love A Bennett   AMC 20 Newport-on-the-Levee in the Bluegrass State   25 May 2003 Is this film a re-examining of the Doris Day/Rock Hudson bedroom comedies of the 1960s? Or is it simply a re-iteration of them? *Uncle*, I give up. All I know is that Ewan McGregor again proves that he could be entertaining to watch in just about anything short of a George Lucas-directed space fiasco. Also, the man could have chemistry with Plexiglass(tm).

Edward Scissorhands Steve Gadd   DVD at home   20 January 2009

Enemy of the State Julie Gephart   Basic cable   13 June 2004 If only the real John Ashcroft would slip up badly enough to be taken down by a Will Smith character… but the evil megalomaniacs never seem to lose in real life, now do they?

Erin Brockovich Steve Gadd   network TV   25 November 2002 Came on after Seinfeld.

Fahrenheit 9/11 Steve Gadd   BitTorrent Cinema   18 July 2004 Hard to rate, but certainly entertaining. As propaganda it would be more effective if the director stuck to his strong points, took a consistent position, and gave up empty but amusing rhetorical tactics.

Fat Girl Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   06 April 2005 Disturbing, somewhat graphic French film about two young sisters' quite divergent introductions to sexuality.

Festival Express Tony Pisarenkov   Loews Dupont Circle, Washington, DC   06 September 2004 A little-known piece of rock-n-roll history, documented but for some mysterious reason not released until now: a chartered train carrying the Grateful Dead, Janis Joplin, the Band, Buddy Guy, and a handful of lesser acts, to a series of outdoor concerts across Canada in the summer of 1970. A must for fans of the music, but potentially very boring for the rest, although if you have never seen close-up footage of Janis Joplin on stage, you're in for an eye-opening experience.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   13 March 2003 I was completely fascinated by the animation, and that took me a long way, but I hated the story. This movie was the closest thing to reading a science-fiction novel that I've seen, but mystical life forces are not really my thing. By the end, I was just clinging to the tenet "Blue=Good" in lieu of being able to follow the particulars. "Of course the earth's spirit is shooting a giant energy beam into space, because... heck, I don't know, but it's blue! Good beam! Blooo gooood! Happy triumph yay! Please let this be over soon."

Flic ou Voyou Tony Pisarenkov   DVD chez Pisarenkov the Elder   05 September 2008 On me dit que j'ai vu ce film Ă  l'age de six ans Ă  Moscou, et que mon père m'a fait entrer clandistenement dans le cinema parce que j'etait trop jeune.

For Me and My Gal A Bennett   TiVo'd from PBS   04 November 2003 I can't watch very many films with Judy Garland--the sad and uncomfortable truth of her actual life too often interferes, as with obvious signs of her fragile drug-addled health. Not so with this film, in which she shines as bright as the sun, and in which she finds truly electric sparks with costar Gene Kelly. A better film in the first half, prior to the Kaiser and his war invading the storyline.

For Your Consideration Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at the in-laws   25 December 2008 Christopher Guest's send-up of Hollywood. Easy target, but has a wider appeal for it.

Friday Night Lights A Bennett   Whistler's Other Video Store   13 April 2005 A story about losing, with energizingly-shot football sequences, and a homerun, articulate performance by a muted Billy Bob Thornton. Lucas Black WILL be huge.

Garden State Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   25 March 2005 Disappointing, but not bad. Banal story, but reasonably interesting script.

Get Over It Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   15 March 2003 Not the best teen comedy ever, but not the worst. Starring the very likable Ben Foster, who I've never seen in anything else, and the ubiquitous Kirsten Dunst. This movie featured some mangled Shakespeare, some singing, some dancing, some Carmen Electra dominatrix-being, and more than one performance by Sisqo.

Ghost Town Steve Gadd   DVD at home   31 December 2008

Happy Go Lucky Steve Gadd   DVD   28 March 2009

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets A Bennett   AMC 20 Newport on the Levee   16 November 2002 I will never be unentertained during the watching of Harry Potter films. However, the films (it seems) will always lack the emotional heft that made me fall in love with the books. And that, after I've left the theatre, makes me sad.

Heaven Can Wait (1943) Julie Gephart   Basic cable   23 April 2004 I believe Waylon said it best when he said, “She never complains of the bad times or the bad things he’s done. She just talks about the good times they’ve had and all the good times to come.” Here, Gene Tierney was the Good Hearted Woman in love with Don Ameche’s Good Timin’ Man, and, ok, she briefly tried to leave him once, but mostly she just accepted his playboy ways and constant lies as part of his “charm.” The story was told through the somewhat superfluous filter of reviewing his deeds at the gates of hell after death, where Satan finally proclaimed that he didn’t deserve to be in hell because he had “made a great many women very happy.” So, there you go. Now you know the correct strategy for moral navigation in life.

Heavenly Creatures Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   14 February 2003 Wow. What a thoroughly... disturbing movie. Young teen girls in New Zealand live inside their own fantasy world and calmly plan a murder. Directed by champion of NZ Peter Jackson.

Hellboy Kristin Schrock   Showcase Cinemas   03 April 2004 I don't know anything about the comic book, and this movie didn't really inspire any curiosity. Not bad. Not great. Ron Perlman is surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) good. It made me wish he did more stuff. It also featured (for Julie) a box of kittens in the one truly funny scene.

Hero Mike Gadd   dvd rental   04 January 2005 The Chinese certainly know how to make a beautiful movie. Not always easy to follow, but at least it looks good. I have a hard time appreciating the need for all the peter pan flying around. How is that supposed to fit into the movie? The fighting is amazing enough without having everyone bounce off of treetops and skipping across the lake.

Hidalgo A Bennett   Giant Cineplex. Root Beer libation at my side.   20 March 2004 Peter Mensah is **MIGHTY**. And this film is entertaining--and pretty much entirely without pretension. Points for Omar Sharif and my not knowing the ending.

High Fidelity Julie Gephart   Basic cable   23 July 2004 Long have the women of my tribe gathered around winter fires to make tellings of the Coo-sak. How glad it is to look upon him, how pleasant to hear his speech! So say they all, the women of my tribe, with one voice. Unto me alone does the bright Coo-sak appear dim of countenance, shielding the glory that he chooses to shine forth upon all others. These mysteries are unknowable to me.

History of Violence Kristin Schrock   Danbarry Dollar Saver   02 December 2005 This seems like two movies mashed together. One movie is sort of like a reverse Witness--small town diner owner must re-enter seedy underworld in order to return to quiet life. The other is a much more interesting movie about the nature of violence, as something we are all capable off. But together, there's something missing. Also, Viggo Mortensen just can't play normal guy. He tries, but he's got a bit of the creepy-factor going on.

Hitch Mike Gadd   Borrowed dvd   06 August 2005 The first half of this movie was quite fun. We like Will Smith and Doug from 'King of Queens'. Genuine laughter could be heard several times. Then it jumped the shark about half way through. It decided to become a serious movie and forgot it's purpose and direction.

Horatio Hornblower: Duty A Bennett   TiVo'd from A&E   07 December 2003 Spending as much time as I do squirming over the plotline of Hornblower's positively abysmal marriage choice, I can still say that it is an exquisite pain. After all, it's never easy watching the kids grow up--as they surely must by the eighth film entry. A true pity it may likely be two more years before film nine sees the light of day.

Horatio Hornblower: Loyalty A Bennett   TiVo'd from A&E   03 December 2003 Production values and budget take a hit in this, the seventh entry into the series. But if you've grown to love the characters since the excitingly filmed-on-board-ship film one, it's not too hard to keep expectations at bay.

Hotel Rwanda Steve Gadd   Reston Town Center   15 January 2005 Paul Rusesabagina was the Schindler of Kigali during the Rwandan nightmare. Powerful and guilt-trippy, without any "I didn't do enough!" melodrama.

House of Games Steve Gadd   DVD   27 November 2003 A psychiatrist gets caught up in a group of con artists who, with the goodwill con artists around the world are known for, agree to take her in and teach her the game. Good chance to see Ricky Jay in action.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days A Bennett   Sneak Preview @ AMC 20 Newport-on-the-Levee   25 January 2003 Matthew McConnaughey. **thud**

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Kristin Schrock   Theatre   25 January 2003 Really a 6.5--I have to stop seeing romantic comedies. Please, someone stop me. They really just depress me. And this one wasn't any worse than any others. M.M wears some nice t-shirts, and singing "You're So Vain" is actually the climax of the movie. And, if you were watching, because you are in love with the line, "I was a *#$*#@ bet?" then you would be sorely disappointed.

How to Marry a Millionaire Julie Gephart   Basic cable   17 December 2003 Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe, and Betty Grable conspire to live for a year in a penthouse they can’t afford in order to meet millionaires and lure them into marriage. After all, as the stupid people are earnestly informed, “Marriage, well its… it’s just the biggest thing you can do in life!” Dudes, just don’t let Marie Curie hear you talking like that. Soon they are all worn down by pesky old love and end up marrying men who are not rich. In conclusion, we learn that love is more important than money, but marriage is still the biggest thing of all.

I, Robot Kristin Schrock   Borrowed DVD   23 May 2005 It was a lot like Short Circuit, really. With more guns and CGI.

I, Robot Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   23 September 2005 Not nearly as bad as I expected. Will Smith does a workmanlike job, and the story, while cliched and silly, held my interest pretty well.

I'll Be Seeing You (1944) A Bennett   VHS   28 July 2003 An intensely shell-shocked WWII soldier (Joseph Cotten) and (curiously) holiday-paroled convict (Ginger Rogers) from 'State Women's Prison' meet on a train. Each has a 10-day Christmas/New Year's furlough from the tragedy their lives have become. And, each has a complicated, shameful secret to spend 10-days keeping from each other. Oh yes, in between falling in love and attending holiday parties at the Y. Merlin's Beard, but Joseph Cotten is about as swell an actor as you'll ever encounter, lending a grace and nobility to his damaged veteran that the story would never have worked without.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead Kristin Schrock   DVD   07 August 2005 From the guy who did the excellent Croupier, this is a bit too slow to be recommended. But, as alwasy, Clive Hot Clive Owen delivers a subtle and compelling performance. The story seemed more suited towards a short-story rather than a movie, though.

Introducing Dorothy Dandridge Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   25 March 2003 Halle Berry portrays the singer and actress who was the first black woman nominated for a Best Actress Academy Award. Naturally, she self-destructs, because otherwise she'd just be a regular old important actress, and who would bother to make a movie about that?

Invincible Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   25 July 2005 Real-life strongman Jouko Ahola plays real-life strongman Zishe Breitbart, a Jewish blacksmith who gets recruited to work as a side attraction in Tim Roth's "Palace of the Occult" in Berlin. A modest offering from Werner Herzog.

Japon Tony Pisarenkov   AFI Silver Theatre, Silver Spring, MD   28 September 2003 Beautifully filmed meditation on alienation, rediscovering spirituality and hope, and going to stomach-churning extremes to connect with it only to fail, combined with a hefty dose of lament on how the sad state of social relations in Mexico undermines its natural beauty. A few gratuitous scenes whose purpose, if there was one beyond shock value, is lost on me, but on balance, worth seeing. The unusual soundtrack (Bach, Arvo Part, and Schostakovich) works surprisingly well.

John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   08 April 2003 If you want to see thumbs sliced off, fingers sliced off, arms sliced off, legs sliced off, and Pam Grier's head on a stake, then this is the movie for you! It was a typical dumb action/horror movie, but I thought it was pretty fun. Had I known that it contained a bona fide Female Action Hero, I certainly would have watched it long ago, no matter how bad it was.

Joy Ride Julie Gephart   DVD Rental   16 November 2002 This film was fine and average for what it aimed to be, which was a brainless scary movie. It certainly wasn't the most scary movie ever, and I did have to put up with looking at the loathsome Leelee Sobieski, but there were some witty lines and a scary trucker, and that's good enough.

Kill Bill Vol: 2 Steven Krise   In my basement on Tivo   20 February 2005 A bit of a strange ending to the killfest that was Vol 1. Highlights include Michael Madsen as an out of work, rotund, redneck bouncer-assassin.

King Kong Steve Gadd   Uptown Cinema   20 December 2005 This movie cost about as much to make as the Empire State Building.

Kiss of the Dragon Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   25 January 2003 Jet Li is a cop from Beijing working to bust a dirty cop in Paris. I'm here to tell you that if you want to be a dirty cop, Paris is apparently your city - you can just open-fire into crowds, blow things up, beat up suspects in public, and the polite French public will simply ignore you.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   05 April 2003 I got my crashing disappointment out of the way when this movie was first released, so on the rewatch I was able to let the "plot" slide past and enjoy the fantastic sets and good action scenes. The bungee scene is one of the most inventive fights I've seen in a long time.

Laura Julie Gephart   Basic cable   18 July 2003 Classic murder mystery in which the police detective manages to fall in love with the victim inside of two days, based on reading her letters and staring morosely at her portrait while downing scotch. Then again, the victim was the luminous Gene Tierney, so I guess I can't blame him too much.

Let's Get Lost Tony Pisarenkov   Landmark E St. Theatre, Washington, DC   07 March 2008 Pretty decent documentary on Chet Baker, though some of the more impressionistic, "mood" footage comes across as a bit self-conscious. The film did not redeem Baker for me, and did not really help me understand his mysterious appeal, but was morbidly fascinating anyway.

Let's Make Love Julie Gephart   Basic cable   17 December 2003 Billionaire playboy learns he is to be one of the celebrities lampooned in an upcoming satire play, so he heads to the theater during rehearsal to check it out. There he finds himself in a casting call full of celebrity impersonators, and he is selected to play the part of himself -- to which he agrees because he's become instantly smitten with the star, Marilyn Monroe. Then he proceeds to hire Milton Berle to teach him comedy, Bing Crosby for singing, and Gene Kelly for dancing, and the movie becomes a bizarre Hollywood insider love-fest. Eventually he succeeds in his goal of making Marilyn fall in love with him even though he's a "poor actor." I hope I didn't ruin the ending for anyone.

Lilo and Stitch Mike Gadd   $2 theater   19 October 2002 Nice story, lousy animation. You see better graphics on Saturday morning on the Cartoon Network. The story worked well enough and the kids certainly enjoyed it.

Masked and Anonymous Kristin Schrock   Local Art Theatre   19 October 2003 Everyone and their brother was in this movie. Pick an actor? Jeff Bridges--check. Mickey Rourke--Yup. Chris Penn, Christian Slater, Jessica Lange (perhaps on screen for the first time with her King Kong co-star), Giovanni Ribisi, Luke Wilson, Angela Bassett, Val Kilmer, John Goodman, with Bob Dylan in the lead. Where to begin? It's war torn America and John Goodman and Jessica Lange are fixing to put on a benefit concert. The movie felt like an allegory, a retelling of some classic story, but I am not able to connect the dots. So it could just be a bunch of speechifying about music and revolution and war. Basically, war is bad m'kay? With some serious third act problems, this one is probably just for the Bob Dylan fans.

Matchstick Men Steve Gadd   Reston Town Center   26 September 2003 Nicolas Cage is great as a nut, but the first hour was slow going. Does it really take that long to establish the character of a psycho con artist (lots of blinking) and an annoying daughter (lots of whining)? Things improved once the story got going.

Miami Vice: The Pilot Mike Gadd   home video   24 May 2004 Watched this after a recent visit to Miami looking for something familiar. There were too many turned up collars and half shirts to notice anything.

Miller's Crossing Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   01 April 2005 The Coen Brothers' gangland noir. Better than The Ladykillers and The Hudsucker Proxy, worse than Raising Arizona and The Big Lebowski.

Monster Tony Pisarenkov   The Avalon, Washington, DC   11 February 2004 Based on a true story of Aileen Wuornos, a Florida prostitute turned serial killer. Very well made and spectacularly acted, with an uncharacteristic but brilliant performance by Charlize Theron, who more than deserves the Oscar nomination. Amazingly enough, however, I managed to be bored through the first two thirds of the film.

My Brilliant Career Julie Gephart   Basic cable   27 November 2003 A farmer’s daughter in Australia bemoans the fact that not only is she poor, but she is also ugly, and nobody will ever love her. Then she goes to live with some rich relations, where she falls in love with a handsome rich man who also falls in love with her and proposes marriage. Needless to say, this makes her… still very unhappy? She spent the whole movie trying to make sure this man fell in love with her, only to then confess that she never wanted to get married because somehow that would prevent her from being a writer. Whatever. I’ve often mocked movies that represent “ugly girl” as “obviously attractive girl in some bad hair and glasses,” but now I’ve come to understand how that device is preferable to the discomfort of watching a genuinely ugly actress get told over and over again how ugly she is.

National Treasure Mike Gadd   Apple Blossom Mall theater   27 November 2004 Not a horrible movie, but not something you walk out of with any great inspiration. Sort of like a 'DaVinci Code' for beginners. I didn't care for Jon Voight's one dimensional old man. Nick Cage didn't bring anything extra to the set.

National Treasure Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   27 July 2005 Cage chases clues, chick, cache. Cliched and corny, but not dull.

Newsies Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   02 February 2003 I was thinking of an entirely different movie when I recorded this, and I certainly was not expecting nubile young dancing boys in a musical. Anyway, this truish story was about newspaper delivery boys who went on strike in old New York and started a mini-revolution in child labor industries.

Nicholas Nickleby A Bennett   Owned DVD   23 February 2004 Is it wrong to blame a film for insufficiencies inherent in its source material (in this case, Dickens)? The titular character changes not one whit, making any forward motion only that of changes in geography (both landscape and character). The good endure, the bad repent not. Goodness triumphs, if only by sheer stick-to-it-ness. We never fear a moment for the hero's corruption, we never fear for a moment that Christopher Plummer will turn from his evil, evil ways. "You cannot stain a black coat," Plummer tells us. And indeed, in Dickens' world, neither can you stain a white. (Harsh words, yes. But a little tension would have made a good film better.)

Notorious (1946) A Bennett   VHS from commercial-free AMC (back in the day)   05 July 2003 Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman generate more heat and passion than really should be (or should have been) legal, and it's all in the details.

O Julie Gephart   HBO leftover on VHS   29 November 2003 The story of Othello, played out in a prep school basketball team. Even though it starred the usual teen movie stars, it didn’t feel like a teen movie, which was a good thing.

Ocean's 11 (remake) A Bennett   TiVo'd over two nights from TNT   16 September 2004 So stylish, so full of handsomely dressed men on a sliding scale of handsome (Brad Pitt to Carl Reiner and on the lowest end, Matt Damon) you quite forget to care one whit for the meat of the story. I do think that Soderbergh meant to end on the Bellagio fountains as the group of confidence men disperse, and it’s a shame he wasn’t allowed to do so. It’s a perfect ending to a film whose pedigree and care in production far outweigh its [rather] thin emotional investment. I have almost managed to swallow down the fact they rip several plot points from the premiere/pilot episode of the ‘Mission: Impossible’ TV Series.

Old School Kristin Schrock   DVD   27 March 2004 To counter the "good film" pick of American Splendor, rented this. I was curious (despite bad reviews) because I adore Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn. Surprisingly, Luke Wilson is a bit of a dud as the straight man, but Vince Vaughn and Will Farrell elicit a few chuckles. There may be some misogynistic undertones in this, but I'm choosing not to think about it too much.

On the Road: The Document Jaqi Ross   National Gallery of Art, D.C.   21 February 2004 Commissioned in 1963 (the same year as An Engineer's Assistant) to make another government public relations film--this time for the traffic division of Japan's police administration--Noriaki Tsuchimoto made the starkly beautiful, black-and-white On the Road: The Document. A cautionary tale for those who would whitewash the ills of automobiles, this "record of the city according to a cab driver" represents a historic moment for documentary film of the 1960s.

Paths of Glory Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   13 September 2005 Three French soldiers are scapegoated and court-martialed after an ill-advised raid on a German position fails during WWI. Kirk Douglas Plays the colonel trying to save his men from their fate in this Stanley Kubrick effort.

Patton Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   06 June 2005 GCS shows us a passionate and complex GSP as he wreaks havoc on the Axis at the end of WWII.

Phone Booth Kristin Schrock   DVD   06 September 2003 I picked this one up because I thought it would be a fun-bad movie. And it wasn't that great, but I had expected it to be worse. Which was kind of disappointing in a way. But in the end, it was kind of stupid. But, you've got to love the Velvety Sutherland.

Pirates of the Caribbean Mike Gadd   Regal Cinema in Martinsburg   14 August 2003 Not a bad movie. Certainly entertaining most of the time. I'm going to have to get over the fact that I'm going to see Frodo, Legolas, and Aragon in other movies where they dress funny. And why does Legolas suddenly look like Doogie Howser? Was it the wispy mustache? I didn't quite understand Johnny Depp's pirate. He's supposed to be the dastardly captain of the Black Pearl? Why the jazz hands all the time? It was fun seeing scenes set up the same way they are on the ride at Disneyworld. Nice job on the special f/x editing with the skeletons showing up in the moonlight.

Platoon Julie Gephart   Basic cable   09 December 2003 Starring: 90% of all male actors who were alive 1986, from Johnny Depp to Tony Todd. Not that you would know, since every scene consisted of a big bunch of men dressed all alike in the dark with their faces blackened. Me watching this movie: “Is that one Charlie Sheen? Hey, did he get shot? Wait, is that Charlie Sheen? Which one is that? Now who is this guy? Hey, who just got blown up? Who’s in the bushes! Was that Charlie Sheen?”

Please Believe Me (1950) A Bennett   TiVo'd TCM - I've missed you, sweet channel...   21 July 2004 Young woman from UK is left 50k acres of property by her Texas penpal in his will. Crossing the Atlantic to claim the bequest, she is pursued by 1.) a flat-broke gambler pressured by the mob to wed her in order to satisfy his debts, 2.) a notoriously wealthy cad, 3.) said cad’s lawyer attempting to keep his client from incurring further breach-of-promise suits. Each falls in love with her. She, inexplicably (though perhaps not, it’s 1950, after all) falls for the distrusting, bullying lawyer. Then again, he is the only of the three able to support her financially and possibly stay faithful to her at the same time. Upon arrival in America, it is discovered her inherited ‘wealth’ is 50k acres of worthless brush. At this point I predicted oil would be struck, but no. A pleasant, if not laugh-out-loud funny romcom, starring Deborah Kerr on an oceanliner a decade before meeting Cary Grant in “An Affair to Remember”. Then, if you recall, she had the sense to choose the charmingly breezy cad. Also, she lost the use of her legs. Surely that wasn’t related.

Primer Steve Gadd   DVD   05 June 2005 This movie, something of a vanity project for writer / director / actor / producer / editor / composer Shane Carruth, keeps you wondering what is going on from beginning to end. Unfortunately, the plot is so opaque that by the end you are helplessly lost. Thankfully, IMDB forum members have watched it six or seven times and wrote up handy plot guides to spell out the timeline. It's actually a very clever film and very well done on a low budget. It uses a hackneyed scifi plot element but expertly avoids the pseudo-technical mumbo jumbo that is usual in the genre.

Primer Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   23 August 2005 Huh?

Pulp Fiction Steve Gadd   Basic Cable   26 September 2004 I think this will be the last time I watch a movie on TV. Toward the end, the movie seemed to be interrupting the commercials. To make time, major scenes were deleted, seemingly at random. Oddly, the "Elvis or Beatles" videocamera interview between Mia and Vincent was retained despite being cut from the theatrical release. And of course, this film particularly suffers from dirty-word dubbing, though this adds some entertainment as well: "We' have to be talkin' 'bout one charmin' mighty-friendly pig."

Queen of the Damned Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   12 March 2003 Based on my favorite of the Anne Rice vampire novels, although the movie glossed over the most interesting parts of the book. Still, I thought it was a really engaging movie... for exactly 52 minutes, at which time it all fell apart. Kudos for someone finally casting a good vampire, though; Lestat, unlike every Dracula I've ever seen, actually managed to look beautiful and alluring while still looking scary and otherworldly.

Robots Mike Gadd   Local $2 joint.   25 May 2005 There were a few good chuckles here and there, thanks mainly to Robin Williams' bot. I did fall asleep once or twice, but that's probably not the entire fault of the movie. There seemed to be an abundance of excretion jokes despite the characters being made out of metal.

RollerBall Jeff Gadd   Video   08 March 2003 Interesting sport, but what kind I'm not sure. Very hard hitting though. Some good actor's too that are in the movie. I think that is what help in the movie, Plot is hard to figure out though.

Rosemary's Baby Julie Gephart   Basic cable   21 July 2003 The thing is, people already tend to think of pregnant women as a little bit crazy. If you’re a pregnant woman being hounded by some supernatural evil, it wouldn’t kill you to put just a little effort into coming up with a good cover story. Ranting about witchcraft and conspiracies? Not so much the effective strategy. The very best part was at the end when she was staring in horror at her little cloven-hoof baby, and the idiot husband still didn’t see that he’d done anything so wrong. “We can have more kids!” He said brightly. “Think about if you had been pregnant and then lost the baby. Wouldn’t it be just the same?” THE SAME AS GIVING BIRTH TO THE SON OF SATAN WHOSE MISSION IS TO DESTROY THE WORLD. Yes, it would be exactly like that.

Say Anything Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   05 July 2005 Extremely lame ending, but the dialog was full of gems. This tale of the loser who bags the valedictorian has become iconic in the culture.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Julie Gephart   Basic cable   29 November 2002 Wheee! The wimminfolk, they love to be kidnapped! Ever last one of em! It will make them dance in their underwear and wish to have your babies!

Sex, Lies, and Videotape Steve Gadd   DVD   10 August 2005 I forgot to add this title to the list after watching it, which should tell you something. If I understand correctly, Hollywood got stuck in a rut once they were allowed to show people in bed and use colorful language. In 1989 Steven Soderbergh kickstarted the "indie" movement with this picture, preparing the way for "Pulp Fiction." James Spader does make things interesting with his quirky expressions, but for most of the duration this was a movie that I wanted to enjoy more than I actually enjoyed.

Shiri Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   09 May 2005 Predictable yet watchable South Korean film. Plot involves a North Korean terror group attempting to precipitate a war in hopes that it will further reunification efforts.

Sideways Tony Pisarenkov   E Street Theatre, Washington, DC   21 November 2004 A decent, amusing film about the misadventures of two friends, one a depressed divorcé, one a compulsive womanizer, taking one last trip to the California wine country before one of them (the womanizer) gets married. Not worth seeing more than once, but if you are so inclined, you can draw many sad, depressing conclusions about being a male with roughly half of your life behind you. The wine jokes were pretty good for the most part, I thought.

Sin City Kristin Schrock   Kenwood Theatre   16 April 2005 It's hard to judge this movie. Visually, it's impressive--but it's ultra-violent despite the fact that the blood was not often red. There were things that I liked--the noir elements, Clive Owen--but as a whole it didn't really feel like a movie. I suspect it would only appeal to graphic novel fans.

Sin City Steven Krise   Netflix   27 October 2006 Mickie Rourke avenges the hooker with a heart of gold.

Since You Went Away (1944) A Bennett   TiVo'd from PBS   08 July 2003 US answer to Mrs. Miniver, produced in war time, film about life on the homefront. Moving, six hanky plot despite the fact its over-the-top good intentions and barely veiled inspirational/propoganda value are showing through all the seams. Nonetheless, it's made with class, style and artistry, from the throwaway day-in-the-life details that make it seem so real and believeable to the stunning black and white cinematography and the zeitgeisty Max Steiner score. BUY WAR BONDS!

Sirens Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   14 April 2003 This quirky little movie teaches us that sensuality is not inherently evil, at least not in Australia. Baby-faced Hugh Grant and his wife get stranded at the country estate of a controversial painter and his sometimes nude models. Lots of Australian wildlife was used in ways that I'm sure were very artistic and therefore completely beyond me.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow A Bennett   Milford Gigantic Cineplex   17 September 2004 It's sort of stunning that a film wherein it can be said 'nothing's new' can yet be so interesting to watch.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   06 September 2005 Indiana Jones he ain't. Nor even Nevada Smith.

Smoke Signals (1998) A Bennett   Owned VHS   10 March 2003 [I'm coming for you, Gephart! And your myseriously free HBO, too!] Adam Beach is more than the Native actor that every casting director looks to cast when the script calls for an Indian. Thing is, he's a really good, affecting actor whose skill is often far above the parts offered him. This is one of his better vehicles, about an odd couple of two young men who leave the Rez to bring home a father's ashes. Beach's (as Victor) speech on how to be an Indian is nearly priceless, as is the song/chant, "John Wayne's teeth (way-ah)." Smoke Signals is noteable entry in Amerind cinema, and I'm all for that, in-it?

Species II Julie Gephart   Basic cable   20 June 2003 Like Terminator, the villain comes back as the hero in the sequel. Alien DNA infects an astronaut on Mars, and said astronaut comes back and has sex with lots of women, causing each to immediately start to swell until an alien baby explodes from her stomach. Now this was 1998 – 1998, people! I’m just saying, if anyone had heard of the little concept we like to call “safe sex,” there’d be fewer aliens in the world today.

Superstar: The Life and Times of Andy Warhol Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   18 September 2006 Falls a bit flat as a piece of documentary filmmaking, but has its moments, and the subject matter is fascinating enough to make me want to seek out a good biography.

Sweet Home Alabama Kristin Schrock   Theatre   19 October 2002 Well, it's a romantic comedy. So I should know by now to walk out before the end. But, like Alicia says, the husband makes it not quite so bad and Reese Witherspoon (I've been a fan since Election) seems game for anything--except for the clothes they put her in. A bit disappointing that it was not actually filmed in Alabama.

Taking Lives Julie Gephart   Actual theater in Woodinville   19 March 2004 A respectable entry if you enjoy the crime thrillers, but I was just in it for a good Angelina fix.

Thank You For Smoking Steve Gadd   Delta 73   24 September 2006 Pretty passable comedy, at least by the standards of inflight entertainment.

The Bells of St. Mary’s Julie Gephart   Basic cable   28 May 2004 If you are a woman and it turns out that you have tuberculosis that can be cured by resting in a dry climate, it is apparently quite acceptable for your doctor to look you in the eye and proclaim you to be in perfect health. Then your doctor will tell your boss about your condition, at which point you will be mysteriously transferred away from the job you love into a boring desk job in Arizona, and nobody will tell you why, because after all, they don’t want you to get “down hearted.”

The Big Bounce Kristin Schrock   DVD   02 October 2004 Oh, Owen Wilson. You disappoint me. I think we might have to break-up now.

The Bourne Supremacy A Bennett   Milford Giant Cineplex   16 September 2004 I still don’t know what the ‘Supremacy’ part of the title means, unless it’s that Bourne is the best of the Treadstone Project (?) A good time, though, and when I thought the script might sell-out the Bourne character and have him cry for some forgiveness in the final act, I found myself pleased to learn the contrary was fact. Two Xena/LoTR alumni (Karl Urban, Martin Csokas) make this a must-see, despite the ever-uglier carcass of Matt Damon decorating the playbill.

The Bourne Supremacy Steve Gadd   DVD   08 December 2004 A good follow-up, with good car chases and music. Not much resemblance to the books (Carlos?). And one glaring goof, from imdb: Errors in geography: When Bourne visits his ex-colleague in Berlin, the bird singing in the background is an American thrush, probably a Wood Thrush.

The Butterfly Effect Steve Gadd   DVD   27 July 2005 This was another Yahoo recommendation. The "go back in time to fix a problem and create more problems" idea is rich but not particularly original, and this movie handles it just well enough to be engaging.

The Cat From Outer Space Julie Gephart   Basic cable   28 February 2004 Listen, it was a movie starring a cat, and I’m not ashamed. The cat was an alien who could communicate telepathically, but still, it was a really cute little cat.

The Day the Earth Stood Still Julie Gephart   Basic cable   25 April 2004 "Klaatu and his guardian robot, Gort, come from afar to warn Earth about nuclear war." Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a serious movie that was awarded 4 stars and was apparently a sci-fi classic. Of course, we no longer have to worry about such a threat, since we've now abandoned nuclear weapons in favor of nucular weapons.

The Decalogue, parts 1-3 Steve Gadd   DVD   03 March 2005 Krzysztof Kieslowski, celebrated for his "Three Colors" trilogy, in 1989 created a ten-part series for Polish television based on the Ten Commandments. Each episode is an hourlong drama involving the residents of a rather dismal apartment building in Warsaw. The commandments themselves are never mentioned, but the very human stories have a Slavic sensibility reminiscent of the great Russian writers.

The Evil Dead Steven Krise   My Basement (TiVo)   15 June 2008 Bruce Campbell - battling a bookshelf (oh, and some ancient Sumerian demons that possessed his friends).

The Hole Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   22 September 2005 Prep school kids are stuck underground; there is some question as to why; Thora Birch is annoying.

The Intruder Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   08 August 2005 A young William Shatner stars as a racist rabble-rouser stirring up opposition to desegregation in this Roger Corman production. Seems kind of trite and moralistic by today's standards.

The Magdalene Sisters Steve Gadd   DVD   15 August 2005 The documentary value of this picture came mostly from the titles before the end credits. As a movie, it is a conventional prison-break story, appropriately but a bit unrelentingly sad. An extra point for the Gibson Girl looks and acerbic sarcasm of Nora-Jane Noone's character.

The Maltese Falcon Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   16 September 2008 Nice visuals made for a good mood piece, but I forgot just how hokey and lame the dialog was.

The Matrix Reloaded Jeff Gadd   Movie cinema   15 June 2003 Okay, for the 2nd. But very hard to follow. To Many MR. SMITHS in the fight scene. The car chase's are cool though. Think to SEE # 3 too?

The Matrix Reloaded Steve Gadd   Reston Town Center   15 June 2003 After the "burly brawl" punch-fest, how can you take any of the later fight scenes seriously? Just a bunch of blurry forearms. And by now the philosophical pretense has been sidelined by the mind-blowing special effects. I am in favor of the cool explosions, I just get a little bored waiting for them. The Gigeresque sets of the underworld were cool.

The Million Dollar Hotel Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   31 March 2005 A blatant ripoff of The Dark Backward. Also, I kept thinking that Tom Tom was played by Henry Thomas. Who ever heard of Jeremy Davies? Thirdly, this movie managed to present Milla Jovavich as somewhat less than impossibly hot, perhaps its most unlikely achievement.

The Minus Man Kristin Schrock   VHS   08 November 2003 Owen Wilson and Janeane Garofalo together, not being funny. It's sort of disconcerting. A little too slow for a late Saturday night, but an interesting story about a calm serial killer. Also stars Dwight Yoakham as a figment of Owen Wilson's imagination.

The new Star Wars movie Mike Gadd   Podunk theater in Front Royal   21 May 2005 Certainly better than the last 2 attempts. I enjoyed the tie-ins with the original movie. Darth Vader being put together was the best part. You could substitute a cardboard cutout for Hayden Christensen (Anakin) and I doubt you would notice. Some of his lines are atrocious.

The Passion of the Christ Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   30 March 2005 I enjoyed trying to translate the Latin before reading the subtitles.

The Prestige Steve Gadd   DVD   24 March 2007 Middling magic drama, overworked plot devices, Ricky Jay cameo.

The Red Violin Tony Pisarenkov   VHS at home   01 June 2003 Good, although not incredible, story, competently written, professionally filmed. Mildly enjoyable. John Corigliano's score is beautiful; perhaps the best part of the film.

The Ring Mike Gadd   dvd at home   31 March 2003 Visually interesting and not a horrible movie. The mood was enhanced by watching it at midnight. It would have rated about a 4 or 5 except for the last 15 minutes that got my attention.

The Ring 2 Kristin Schrock   In-Flight Movie   03 June 2005 That's right--they showed the Ring 2 on an in-flight movie. I assume they edited it--but still kind of creepy. But I tuned in because of Simon Baker. As I did not see The Ring, I probably didn't get the full effect. Interesting in that 1) Academy Award winner Sissy Spacek is in it, and 2) The reliance on rings and circles in the story which I did think was kind of cool. If I didn't think the first Ring would scare the bejesus out of me, I'd rent it just to get the full story.

The Seventh Seal Tony Pisarenkov   National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC   24 July 2004 Although the philosophy and the angst looks way too heavy-handed today, and the fairy tale quality is more comical than Bergman intended, it is still mostly the classic that it is made out to be.

The Spanish Apartment Steve Gadd   DVD   16 February 2005 An uptight French student spends a year in Barcelona, staying in an apartment packed with other students from around Europe. Various tragicomic and coming-of-age related activities ensue. Audrey Tautou had a minor role, and the other characters were merely interesting, but the diverse accents and languages and the beautiful city made the movie worth watching.

The Statement Kristin Schrock   DVD   16 July 2005 I did not enjoy the book on which this movie's based. But I had hoped the movie would be better--I was wrong. The story of a Nazi Collaborator with the Vichy Government who evaded persecution with the help of the Catholic Church. Now he's being hunted by a jewish group as well as the French Government. You'd think it would be better. The highlight was watching Tilda Swinton and Jeremy Northam (as French investigators) working together. Excellent actors in a dull movie.

The Terminal Ray Hunley   HBOsomething   25 August 2005 My wife was nagging me while I watched it, so I didn't follow everything. Something about some dude in an airport.

The Virgin Suicides Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   05 January 2003 Five teenaged sisters commit suicide. This film starts out by telling you the ending, and eventually the ending comes, but nothing in the middle does anything to explain it. I didn't expect pat answers, but some occasional insight into the characters' states of mind would have been nice. Still, it kept me interested along the way, even if it didn't add up to a satisfying whole.

The Way of the Gun Steve Gadd   DVD   17 September 2005 With a screenplay by the guy who wrote "The Usual Suspects," this movie has a large cast of shady characters with shifting loyalties. But this story of a kidnapping gone wrong wasn't as cool or surprising.

The Wedding Planner Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   14 March 2003 It's hardly worth writing a comment about a romantic comedy, since every single one of them is exactly the same with different actors.

The Woodsman Steve Gadd   DVD   14 July 2005 You have to respect a director for taking on a toxic subject. The result is a must-see for fans of Kevin Bacon, whose spectral presence is underplayed to perfection. The movie also inspired me to reread the second half of Chapter 41 of Cryptonomicon, Tom Howard's dissertation on black stockings.

The Wrestler Steve Gadd   Fairfax Regal Cinemas   13 March 2009 Nothing really bad about the movie, but not all that much going for it either.

There's No Business Like Show Business (1954) A Bennett   TiVo'd from AMC am   17 January 2004 I had only planned to TiVo-zip through this to quickly watch a few great musical numbers I could recall. No dice, the whole movie is great musical numbers. And Donald O'Connor's performance is really, really great, and believable. It's not hard to see why Marilyn Monroe (coincidentally in one of the only roles I can watch her in) falls for him, despite his unconventional lack of matinee idol good looks. Also, a double helping of Ethel Merman: Great legs, great pipes, and a whole lotta heart. And I think that Dan Dailey actually does full-contact smack O'Connor.

Underworld A Bennett   AMC Newport-on-the-Levee; no popcorn this time   04 October 2003 Visually interesting to me, even though it is entirely shot in the dark, making the film seem as though all action passes in the space of a single, neverending night. I enjoyed this film, which has been pounded by critics. My position probably isn't defensible. After all, it was about 25 minutes longer than it should have been. It draws on a post-Matrix language of film. The characters tend toward mono-dimensional as much as the graphic novel genre in which the story is set. I don't find the leading man attractive. Kate Beckinsale kicked in a lot of doors. I want to know where all the lady werewolves are. I have a lot of questions that weren't answered. But I find myself still thinking about it. I really liked the heroine. Kristin complains she didn't do much--which is true, compared to a 'Charlie's Angels'-film female, she doesn't trounce a great many people on-screen with her vamp-fu. Then again, she doesn't traipse around pretending to be male eye candy, either. Selene is a rare breed of female heroine that I find myself liking; she's externally tough, taciturn, an actual thinker. Her focus is laser-sharp. She exhibits physical prowess just often enough so that you know she can mess you--and just about anyone else she wants to--up. She doesn't really have time or interest in your crap. She has a sort of sad backstory. And in the final shot, the guy follows HER off screen. Every movie doesn't need a Selene, but I enjoyed her in this one. Points for only three true Matrix-like stunt shots; in their restraint they proved more effective. Points also for stop-motion vs. CGI effects that I will, perhaps, always prefer. Points for an ending that also serves as a beginning. Points for vampiric transformations that actually are much less ugly (I'm thinking all those veins in 'Interview', and all those forehead wrinkles in 'Buffy/Angel') than they are groovy. I liked this film much more than either X-Men film--or Spiderman (sorry, Mr. Raimi!).

Underworld Kristin Schrock   Theatre   04 October 2003 My expectations were very low, so there were some pleasant surprises. Very stylish and some cool coats. However, not enough kissing and a bit too much plot. Ben, from Felicity, looks really cute in a hooded sweatshirt.

Underworld (cont'd) A Bennett   AMC Newport-on-the-Levee; no popcorn this time   04 October 2003 This review of a film so few would probably want to see is way too long. Laugh it up, Mike Gadd--the lacrosse stick's waiting to wail on you.

Underworld--Review Revisited Kristin Schrock   Theatre   10 October 2003 Just to clarify: I will NEVER, EVER, EVER want my female action heroes to be more like the "empowered" Charlies Angels. EVER. I am hurt that ABennett would suggest such a thing. When I complained (and rightly so) that Kate didn't do much--I meant that more often than not she was gripped by inaction, that the camera perhaps stayed too long on her lovely, thinking face. I think, ABennett, that we have to fight now.

Veronica Guerin A Bennett   Hollywood Video DVD   04 August 2005 Somehow Jerry Bruckheimer was attached to this production. The violence is so real it’s upsetting, the story is dark (and allegedly true) and the bad men are truly, unredeemably bad. After all, it’s an Irish story. Cate Blanchett should be given a small kingdom (I’m thinking Monaco, or even Vatican City) in recognition of her performance here. Is there nothing she can’t do? I’d pay to watch her portray an African tribesman in Shaka Zulu’s time.

Voyage of the Rock Aliens Tony Pisarenkov   Dr. Dremo's Taphouse, Arlington, VA   22 May 2007 How do you even rate something like this?!

Walk the Line Tony Pisarenkov   AMC Mazza Gallery, Washington, DC   26 November 2005 More than a little Hollywoody for my taste, and Joaquin Phoenix was channeling Elvis way better than he was channeling Cash, but the story kept my interest and the music was quite good.

War of the Worlds Steve Gadd   Countryside Megaplex   15 July 2005 A passable summer blockbuster, with all the requisite elements: brilliant, thrilling effects; a boring Act 2 in which the characters become slightly less flat; and the need to suspend more disbelief than you have since "Independence Day." Voiceover excerpts from H. G. Wells give a note of dignity to the opening and closing moments, but with disappointingly few nods to the 1953 version this is just an interplanetary "Jurassic Park."

Warrior Queen A Bennett   TiVo'd from PBS' Mobil Masterpiece Theatre   16 October 2003 The only mistake the Romans made was letting her live.

Warrior Queen Julie Gephart   Basic cable   19 October 2003 The reign of Boudica, in all its dirty barbarian glory.

Wimbledon A Bennett   Hollywood Video DVD   04 August 2005 Sort of surprising this charming film of good acting didn’t make more of a splash. Granted, I know nothing of tennis, but the two leads have chemistry to spare. Could have done without the lengthy, wooden, and painful cameos by John McEnroe and Chris Everett as announcers. The world cannot have enough diverting films that manage to entertain.

Wonderland Kristin Schrock   DVD   30 June 2004 The "true" story behind the murder of four people in California in the early eighties which involved legendary porn star John Holmes. Strong performances by Val Kilmer, Dylan McDermott, and Josh Lucas (who does not play a southern redneck), but the story seems to be hampered by the dual point of view--which hampers our ability to identify with any one character. Bonus points for a Gordon Lightfoot song playing over the credits.

Word Wars Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   31 July 2005 This documentary tracks four Scrabble aficianados as they gear up for, and compete in, the U.S. championship tournament. The level of obsession and dedication among the top players is amazing.

Yellow Sky Julie Gephart   Basic cable   25 October 2003 A band of outlaws run across a “tomboy” woman and her grandfather living and mining gold in a ghost town. First Gregory Peck threatens to kill the woman if she doesn’t feed them. Then he jumps on her in the yard, knocks her to the ground, and starts kissing and pawing her before laughing (that scamp!) and saying he was just showing how useless it was to try to defend herself if he wanted to get rough. That’s obviously when she fell in love with him. Finally when they can’t find the stash of gold, he agrees to only steal HALF of it if they’ll tell them where it is, and she loves him more. Later, after much gunplay, he brings her a flowered hat, and they ride off together joyously. Because no matter how much a woman wears jeans and boots, deep down she’s always longing for that flowered hat.

Yojimbo Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   06 April 2005 A yakisoba western from Akira Kurosawa. Storyline was later stolen for Sergio Leone's Clint Eastwood vehicle, A Fistful of Dollars. A wandering ronin comes into a small town, swaggers around, subdues two gang bosses by playing one against the other.

Zardoz Kristin Schrock   DVD   23 April 2004 This 1970's Sean Connery sci-fi/fantasy pic was so so bad, it bordered on delicious. I don't doubt that it has a cult following which is the reason it has made the transition to DVD with director commentary no less. Here's the pitch: in the future, the human race is divided into two categories: chosen ones and brutals. The chosen ones kill the brutals at the behest of Zardoz, a god who resides in a stone head that floats down from the skies. But of course Zardoz is controlled by another set of people who cannot die and need the other humans to grow stuff. Sean Connery, outfitted much like Mr. Peepers on SNL, figures out the ruse by reading (!) and then brings death to the immortals, because of the chosen ones, he's THE CHOSEN ONE meant to bring death. Which is a good. yeah, it didn't really make much sense.