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Santo vs. the Martian Invasion Jennifer Strang   Hirshorn Museum   08 July 2004 Using the "schlock" rating scale instead of the regular scale, this is a solid eight. It has everything you need in a good cheesy movie - ridiculous costumes, a plot involving evil martians, many truly boring moments, stock footage...I could go on and on. My only complaint is that there is WAY too much wrestling, but I'll put up with it for Santo!

Santo vs. the Martian Invasion Tony Pisarenkov   The Hirshhorn Museum, Washington, DC   08 July 2004 A strong contender for the worst film I have ever seen.

Saturday Night Live - The Best of Chris Farley Ian Hassell   Video   02 September 2002 Two Words: Motivational Speaker

Say Anything Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   05 July 2005 Extremely lame ending, but the dialog was full of gems. This tale of the loser who bags the valedictorian has become iconic in the culture.

Schultze Gets The Blues Steve Gadd   DVD   22 October 2005 Schultze, a recently retired polka accordionist, catches a bit of zydeko on the radio and transform his style, finally travelling to Louisiana. While there are a few nice touches, the slow pacing establishes the retirement mood all too well.

Scooby Doo Julie Gephart   DVD I was forced to watch   08 July 2003 I’m pretty sure this movie lasted for at least seven hours. Any movie that contains a scene consisting entirely of people farting is right off my list.

Scotland, PA Kristin Schrock   DVD   03 September 2003 A revisiting of the Scottish play. This one set in the 70's around a diner called Duncan's (he built his fortune on Donuts). Remarkably good--even though there's some strange tonal shifts. Featured a Wittenberg Alum as Duncan and Christopher Walken as MacDuff. Woo!

Seabiscuit Mike Gadd   $2 theater with a loose 4 year old   26 October 2003 Excellent movie, though too long. The cinematography was fabulous. I might pay a little more attention at the next network broadcast of a horse race.

Seabiscuit Ray Hunley   HBO   03 July 2005 This is the second movie I've seen which features Chris Cooper's character shouting "Turn him loose!" It always chokes me up.

Secret Window Steve Gadd   DVD   25 March 2005 Stephen King wrote this story about an author and a psycho, violent reader who makes his life miserable. Another movie that blends reality and fantasy to provide an easy way out.

Secretary Kristin Schrock   DVD   27 April 2003 One of the best movies I've seen in a long while (granted, if this list is any evidence, I see a lot of bad movies, but still). I'm tempted to give it a 10. Someone should give James Spader an award. Even the Independent Spirit Awards ignored him! Despite the S&M (yes, S&M) elements (No, they don't wear the outfits), this is a surprisingly affecting love story. In fact, in all of its weirdness, it's kind of sweet.

See Jane Date Julie Gephart   Basic cable   17 August 2003 Charisma Carpenter, Holly Marie Combs, Linda Dano, Antonio Sabato Jr. This is the list of words that somehow caused me to agree to spend two hours being battered with the message that a thirty year old woman is an embarrassing failure if she hasn’t managed to trap herself a boyfriend.

Sense and Sensibility (1995) A Bennett   owned VHS   01 November 2003 Never a disappointment, no matter how many times I watch it.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Julie Gephart   Basic cable   29 November 2002 Wheee! The wimminfolk, they love to be kidnapped! Ever last one of em! It will make them dance in their underwear and wish to have your babies!

Sex, Lies, and Videotape Steve Gadd   DVD   10 August 2005 I forgot to add this title to the list after watching it, which should tell you something. If I understand correctly, Hollywood got stuck in a rut once they were allowed to show people in bed and use colorful language. In 1989 Steven Soderbergh kickstarted the "indie" movement with this picture, preparing the way for "Pulp Fiction." James Spader does make things interesting with his quirky expressions, but for most of the duration this was a movie that I wanted to enjoy more than I actually enjoyed.

Shadow of the Vampire Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   14 February 2003 Good times, good times. Brilliant silent film director makes a pact with an ancient vampire to star in his movie, and naturally things go wrong. Or maybe they go right. Who's to say?

Shanghai Knights Kristin Schrock   Theatre   08 February 2003 My new boyfriend Owen Wilson is very, very funny. A mindless romp with an inspired "Singing in the Rain" fight sequence. The bloopers at the end had me in tears. I would've watched an entire movie of those.

Shanghai Knights A Bennett   Milford Showcase Cinemas   08 February 2003 Mindless, but not unpleasant. As always, Jackie Chan deserves better material.

Shanghai Knights Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   06 June 2005 Good grief. Fann Wong is inconceivably hot, but hot only goes so far.

Shanghai Noon Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   01 May 2005 Puerile script and weak plot involving Jackie Chan and Owen wilson rescuing "princess" Lucy Liu in the late 19th century American West. Wilson and Chan are great at what they do, so I'll probably watch the sequel, but I'm not expecting much.

Shark Tale Steve Gadd   DVD   06 June 2005 Without the voice talent, this movie would have been dead in the water.

Shaun of the Dead Kristin Schrock   DVD   14 February 2005 I like my zombies the old fashioned way--slow. A fun zombie comedy--but not a spoof--that elevates the zombie metaphor to the surface. Very enjoyable (with only a few gross bits).

Shaun of the Dead Ray Hunley   HBO On Demand   11 November 2005 Not worth breaking my word for. Slackers Shaun and Ed try to save the day in this semi-send-up of the genre. Just weak.

Shaun of the Dead Tony Pisarenkov   DVD chez C&S   17 February 2008 More cute than funny.

Sherlock Holmes: A Case of Evil A Bennett   Taped off TV, USA Original Movie   04 November 2002 HIGHLY enjoyable, for all that it likely leaves Holmesian canon in its dust. Does not shy away from issues of the great detective's addiction. D'Onofrio's Professor Moriarty is one of the best nemeses to watch in recent memory. He doesn't want Holmes dead so much as destroyed. And in his pursuit of that he manages to hurt every main character in the film along the way. Oh yeah, and he invents heroin. Not too shabby.

Shiri Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   09 May 2005 Predictable yet watchable South Korean film. Plot involves a North Korean terror group attempting to precipitate a war in hopes that it will further reunification efforts.

Shrek Steve Gadd   DVD   11 May 2005 Cute. Not as technically accomplished as "The Incredibles," but with more double entendres and fart jokes.

Sicko Steve Gadd   BitTorrent Cinema   26 July 2007 Another entertaining bit of propaganda, making the (entirely one-sided) case that American healthcare is messed up, and Canadian, British, French, and Cuban healthcare is tip-top.

Sideways Tony Pisarenkov   E Street Theatre, Washington, DC   21 November 2004 A decent, amusing film about the misadventures of two friends, one a depressed divorcé, one a compulsive womanizer, taking one last trip to the California wine country before one of them (the womanizer) gets married. Not worth seeing more than once, but if you are so inclined, you can draw many sad, depressing conclusions about being a male with roughly half of your life behind you. The wine jokes were pretty good for the most part, I thought.

Sideways Steve Gadd   Fairfax Cinema De Lux   03 December 2004 Occasionally funny, slow-paced ridealong with mismatched friends through wine country. The depressive, wine snob author can't pull himself together enough to score, while his actor buddy can't help but to charm the ladies. The scenery is beautiful and the acting and dialog are perfect, but this kind of film is an acquired taste.

Signs Mike Gadd   dvd at home   09 May 2003 Why not watch it again? It's one of my favorites. Just about the perfect movie. The story, acting, special fx, etc. was all I could hope for in a movie. I'll be in line for the next M. Night movie.

Sin City Steve Gadd   Fairfax Town Center   15 April 2005 Sin City takes the best elements of a comic book -- sorry, graphic novel -- and a movie to create an edgy, atmospheric, and totally engrossing experience, far cooler than the A-Ha music video of days gone by.

Sin City Kristin Schrock   Kenwood Theatre   16 April 2005 It's hard to judge this movie. Visually, it's impressive--but it's ultra-violent despite the fact that the blood was not often red. There were things that I liked--the noir elements, Clive Owen--but as a whole it didn't really feel like a movie. I suspect it would only appeal to graphic novel fans.

Sin City Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   02 September 2005 Darker and more cartoonish than I expected, but I'm not complaining. The experience really was like reading a Frank Miller graphic novel. I hope he has as much influence in the upcoming V for Vendetta.

Sin City Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   16 December 2005 In our endless search for authenticity in art and boundless disdain for anything ever remotely commercial, we forget that there is a lot to be said for first-rate entertainment.

Sin City Steven Krise   Netflix   27 October 2006 Mickie Rourke avenges the hooker with a heart of gold.

Since You Went Away (1944) A Bennett   TiVo'd from PBS   08 July 2003 US answer to Mrs. Miniver, produced in war time, film about life on the homefront. Moving, six hanky plot despite the fact its over-the-top good intentions and barely veiled inspirational/propoganda value are showing through all the seams. Nonetheless, it's made with class, style and artistry, from the throwaway day-in-the-life details that make it seem so real and believeable to the stunning black and white cinematography and the zeitgeisty Max Steiner score. BUY WAR BONDS!

Sirens Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   14 April 2003 This quirky little movie teaches us that sensuality is not inherently evil, at least not in Australia. Baby-faced Hugh Grant and his wife get stranded at the country estate of a controversial painter and his sometimes nude models. Lots of Australian wildlife was used in ways that I'm sure were very artistic and therefore completely beyond me.

Skinwalkers: An American Mystery! A Bennett   TiVo'd from PBS   30 November 2003 True Navajos avoid eye contact, and point with their lips. Try it sometime. You just might creep someone out. The first of two (Coyote Waits being the second--with a third on its way in the Spring), this entry did not grab me quite the way its follow-up did, but it's still very watchable, due largely to the charismatic cast. It is possible that my enjoyment was impeded by the fact I watched it over two nights, and during the break in-between was able to puzzle out the killer before the detectives did. I have some lingering suspicions that Chris Carter read a great deal of Hillerman's Joe Leaphorn/Jim Chee novels before writing the greatest X-Files arc ever (Paper Clip, Anasazi, The Blessing Way). Not that I hold it against him. We've all a history of stealing from the Indians.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow A Bennett   Milford Gigantic Cineplex   17 September 2004 It's sort of stunning that a film wherein it can be said 'nothing's new' can yet be so interesting to watch.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   06 September 2005 Indiana Jones he ain't. Nor even Nevada Smith.

Sliding Doors Steve Gadd   DVD   12 February 2005 This was our first taste of a three-month all-you-can-rent promo from the video store. This movie takes the "Run Lola Run" concept to the romantic comedy format, with the alternate threads presented in parallel rather than sequentially.

Slumdog Millionaire Steve Gadd   Regal Countryside Cinema   16 January 2009

Smoke Signals (1998) A Bennett   Owned VHS   10 March 2003 [I'm coming for you, Gephart! And your myseriously free HBO, too!] Adam Beach is more than the Native actor that every casting director looks to cast when the script calls for an Indian. Thing is, he's a really good, affecting actor whose skill is often far above the parts offered him. This is one of his better vehicles, about an odd couple of two young men who leave the Rez to bring home a father's ashes. Beach's (as Victor) speech on how to be an Indian is nearly priceless, as is the song/chant, "John Wayne's teeth (way-ah)." Smoke Signals is noteable entry in Amerind cinema, and I'm all for that, in-it?

Snakes on a Plane Steven Krise     28 August 2006 What the hell?! Snakes!

Snow Day, Bloody Snow Day Tony Pisarenkov   The Nevermore Film Festival, Durham, NC   19 February 2006 Everyone should have the right to make a joke.

Something's Gotta Give Mike Gadd   Dvd rental   27 July 2004 Not a bad movie overall. Certainly well acted though the wailing got old after a while. It seemed that Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton's faces were distorted using claymation at times. Something not quite right at watching old people make out either.

Species II Julie Gephart   Basic cable   20 June 2003 Like Terminator, the villain comes back as the hero in the sequel. Alien DNA infects an astronaut on Mars, and said astronaut comes back and has sex with lots of women, causing each to immediately start to swell until an alien baby explodes from her stomach. Now this was 1998 – 1998, people! I’m just saying, if anyone had heard of the little concept we like to call “safe sex,” there’d be fewer aliens in the world today.

Spiderman Mike Gadd   DVD at home   31 December 2002 New Years Eve viewing with the kids. A fun movie not unlike the first Batman. Good special fx with the web swinger sailing through downtown NYC. From what I hear it stayed true to the comic book.

Spiderman 2 Mike Gadd   Lame Mall theater   11 July 2004 Despite all the kid noise in the theater this was a delightful movie experience. Much deeper and broader than the first, this film was just about the perfect summer movie. Added bonus- a preview of 'The Village'.

Spiderman 2 Jennifer Strang   Uptown Theater - Washington, DC   31 July 2004 If you liked the first one, this is even better. There's more humor, several surprises, and even more over the top fight scenes. Plus, Toby is awfully cute.

Spiderman 2 Mike Gadd   $2 theater   22 October 2004 Why not see it again for 2 bucks?

Spider-man 2 Kristin Schrock   Kenwood Theatre   04 July 2004 What's not to like (at least if you're me): superhero, directed by Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell cameo. And then add characters with depth, unexpected humor, and a sincerity that is often lacking in blockbusters and I was pretty much grinning from start to finish. It's not a peace treaty, but it was some popcorn fun on a hot summer day. Also, Tobey McGuire may have to battle Elijah Wood for the biggest, bluest eyes in movies today.

Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie Kristin Schrock   DVD (rented for an 8 year old)   01 April 2005 I enjoy the Spongebob cartoon. The movie seemed overlong and there was singing--but, dude, David Hasselhoff. It's really no wonder that the Germans love him so.

Spring Forward Kristin Schrock   DVD   30 September 2002 I love Liev Schreiber. I don't love him enough to suffer through Jakob the Liar, so I do have standards. I don't think this indie ever got theatrical distribution. It's basically Liev and Ned Beatty talking in these lovely vignettes. It's beautifully filmed; it's surprising; and Liev is so very tall.

Spy Game Steve Gadd   DVD at home   28 August 2002 At least half of this movie takes place in a conference room, but it still manages to keep your interest. Some of the flashback scenes were a bit underdeveloped, but the complex storyline keeps you guessing.

Spy Kids 3D Mike Gadd   Regular old theater with no legroom   26 July 2003 What a relief it is to get the worst movie I'll see this year out of the way. It just can't get any worse. I actually fell asleep at one point. I remember in the late 70's when they showed The Black Lagoon on tv in 3d. We all ran to 7-11 to get our glasses and watched a total of 20 minutes of the movie because it was so lame. It was better than Spy Kids because at least it had a story. I could NOT wait to get out of there. If Stallone ever gets work again it won't be because he did this one. And Frodo! What are you doing here!? This isn't Mordor! Ugh.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock Julie Gephart   Basic cable   13 June 2004 I watched this right after the BET Top 10 video countdown so that I could transition directly from one strange new world to another. As luck would have it, the future appears to contain far more Klingons and far fewer undulating bikini girls who answer to insulting terms. I suppose it's a fair enough trade, all things considered.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Tony Pisarenkov   Fairfax Corner Umpteen, Fairfax, VA   28 May 2005 Not the most boring movie ever made, but you wouldn't know that just from looking at it.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Steven Krise   Uptown Theatre, DC   03 June 2005 Quite possibly the best of the sextet. I had a number of moments where I was literally on the edge of my seat watching with bated breath. The fall of Anikin was handled with a deftness that was unexpected from hack director, George Lucas. The fact that I've been waiting over 20 years to see this film coupled with the 60 oz of stout I had prior to viewing may have had a hand in my enthusiasm.

State of the Union Julie Gephart   Basic cable   27 July 2003 I finally got to see the famed pairing of Hepburn & Tracy in action, but I had to put up with a whole lot of political speechifying to do so. The dialog was almost too fast to comprehend at times, which actually made for a nice change from most movies. Any woman who is being edged out of her marriage by *Angela Lansbury* has got to know she’s hit absolute rock bottom.

Stephen King's IT Jeff Gadd   Video   28 October 2002 A very creepy movie of a monster that is a clown or looks like a clown.Some familiar actors,but not all.NOT a movie to watch alone. IT is a very strange movie.

Stompin' at the Savoy (1992) A Bennett   TiVo'd from USA   19 August 2003 I'm not sure I've ever seen Vanessa Williams looking prettier, or acting better than she does here. Four Harlem women in WWII. The first two-thirds is much better than the two stars TiVo gave it, the last third probably more deserving of that rating. But that still doesn't answer the question of why it was categorized as a Musical, or why Jaleesa from 'A Different World' played Ella Fitzgerald. Not that I'm complaining.

Strange Brew Tony Pisarenkov   VHS at home   03 February 2007 Amazing what can turn up in the back of your closet when you're getting ready to move, eh?

Summer Catch Julie Gephart   Mysteriously free HBO   14 January 2003 These free movie channels are inducing me to watch more dreck than I ever thought possible. If I am forced to listen to horrible, stupid dialogue such as no actual person would ever utter, I would at least prefer that it come in the form of smug quips just before people start kicking the crap out of each other in a kung fu showdown. "Oh, how can I be worthy of your rich girl love, when I am but a poor sniveling lawn boy?" Bad answer: "But I love you too! Allow yourself to be glorious!" Good answer: "eeeEEEEEEYAH! Oh, I'M sorry - I guess you're finding it harder to whine now with that CRUSHED WINDPIPE, eh Freddie boy? Ha ha ha ha ha." Now that would have been a decent movie.

Sunset Boulevard Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   05 April 2005 This film is a perfect illustration of my long-standing contention that no degree of production value can overcome a mediocre story. Gloria Swanson has a few good lines ("I *am* big; it's the *pictures* that got small."), but overall she ridiculously overplays the part of the washed-up silents star. We learn in the first scene that William Holden's character is dead, and everyone else is a self-absorbed nutjob, so who freakin' cares?

Super Size Me Jaqi Ross   Hollywood video rental   11 October 2004 Documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock makes himself a test subject of this documentary about the commercial food industry. Rigorously eating a diet of McDonald's fast food, three times a day for a month straight. Spurlock is out to prove the physical and mental effects of consuming fast food. Amusing social commentary.

Supersize Me Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   22 July 2005 Very entertaining and mildly eye-opening even for a food-obsessed viewer like myself. Shocking for some, no doubt. Highly recommended.

Supersize Me Steve Gadd   DVD   11 August 2005 With its light touch and sharp editing, this exposé was more entertaining and less heavyhanded than expected. (Thanks, Tony, for the encouraging nudge.)

Superstar: The Life and Times of Andy Warhol Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   18 September 2006 Falls a bit flat as a piece of documentary filmmaking, but has its moments, and the subject matter is fascinating enough to make me want to seek out a good biography.

Suspicion Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   05 April 2005 Joan Fontaine tries to decide whether Cary Grant is a murderer, or just a scampish rake in this Hitchcock classic. Nigel Bruce steals the show as "Beaky" Thwaite, Grant's bumbling friend / possible victim.

Sweet and Lowdown Jennifer Strang   VHS at home   20 December 2003 An excellent bio (directed by Woody Allen) about Emmet Ray, a guitarist who enjoyed a brief period of fame in the 1930s. Sean Penn was great as the egotistical and self-destructive performer, and Samantha Morton very convincing as his mute girlfriend.

Sweet and Lowdown Tony Pisarenkov   VHS at home   20 December 2003 A well-done dramatization of the life of Emmett Ray, the self-described second greatest guitar player in the world. Both Sean Penn and Smanatha Morton deliver excellent performances. Recommended.

Sweet Home Alabama A Bennett   Great Escape 14 in Wilder, KY   19 October 2002 I will never be a Reese Witherspoon fan. That said, this film was enjoyable, there were some laughs, the husband did a quite nice job with his part. Script stumbled where most romantic comedies (romcoms) do anymore, but manage to make me not notice so much until after the credits rolled.

Sweet Home Alabama Kristin Schrock   Theatre   19 October 2002 Well, it's a romantic comedy. So I should know by now to walk out before the end. But, like Alicia says, the husband makes it not quite so bad and Reese Witherspoon (I've been a fan since Election) seems game for anything--except for the clothes they put her in. A bit disappointing that it was not actually filmed in Alabama.

Sweet Home Alabama A Bennett   Hollywood Video DVD   01 April 2003 The only scenes really worthwhile in this film (especially once you know the plot turns) are those including Josh Lucas as Jake. What was released as inoffensive fluff is revealed (as often is) in DVD extras and deleted scenes, to have been intended to be something a little more, a little better. Once again proving that kowtowing to test audiences is the best way to ruin a picture. For some reason, this second viewing of this film kind of soured me on it. Hmmm.

Sweet Smell of Success Kristin Schrock   DVD   02 March 2003 A brutal movie in the best noir sense. Tony Curtis is a sleazy press agent trying to do the bidding of Burt Lancaster, the column writer who can make or break you. Bonus points for lines like, "You're dead. Get yourself buried." This is a classic for a reason; it's d*mn good.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   24 March 2005 One point for historical value as the beginning of the "blaxploitation" genre, and one point out of simple pity. "Rated X by an all-white jury!"

Swordfish Julie Gephart   VHS at home   20 October 2002 Until the end, this movie was okay. Not my cup of tea, but still okay. I don't want to reveal anything, but what kind of lame movie presents a plot-point halfway through the movie and then tries to use that point as their "surprise" twist at the end? Also, I think they must need a special "forced perspective" camera to fit John Travolta's Great Big Giant Head into scenes with normal humans.

Syriana Tony Pisarenkov   Regal Cinemas Gallery Place, Washington, DC   24 December 2005 Made as it was by the creators of Traffic, it is not too surprising that this vaguely reality-based tale of international intrigue surrounding the quest for Middle Eastern oil delivers a rich variety of evils battling each other with just a token (and -- I'll ruin it for you -- ultimately unsuccessful) opposition from a lonely idealist hero. The politics lack nuance in a fundamental way, and the myriad subplots will have you twisted into a pretzel that requires repeated viewings to untangle, but exceptionally well made and enjoyable nevertheless.