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Hackers (1995) ****------
A Bennett   Live television, channel unknown   01 November 2003

No small wonder that a "tech" film pre-dating widespread knowledge and use of the internet does not play as laughably outdated near 10 years later.

Happy Accidents *******---
A Bennett   DVD rental   01 January 2003

I spent so much of this enchanting film in knots over what I dreaded the ending to be. And then it wasn't as I had dreaded, so I was just left with enchantment. And happy thoughts where Vincent D'Onofrio is concerned. Which is not a bad trade-off, let me tell you. To share the plot would be to spoil the viewing, but I will say: not, exactly, your typical romantic comedy--too many lively discussions of quantum physics for that. :) And an Anthony Michael Hall cameo.

Happy Accidents *******---
Kristin Schrock   DVD   01 January 2003

I think I'm in love with Vincent D'nofrio who perhaps gives the steamiest explanation of the Time Travel (yes, Time Travel) in the history of film. This movie made me wish that I could bear to watch his Law & Order show.

Happy Go Lucky ******----
Steve Gadd   DVD   28 March 2009



Happy Texas *********-
Mike Gadd   VHS rental   13 October 2002

Love this movie. Have seen it before but wanted to watch it again with some friends who hadn't seen it. We kept missing lines because we were laughing so hard. Steve Zahn was hilarious.

Harry and the Hendersons ***-------
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   22 April 2004

Another one spit out on the “Award Winners” list from TiVo, although this one was just for makeup. It was a bad movie. However, it was filmed around Seattle, so I got to glory for a while in the wonderful spot where I live, and that never hurts. Also – the dad? Annoying alien John Lithgow. The mom? Ralphie’s mom from “A Christmas Story.” The boy? Scary creepy Billy Mahoney from Flatliners. The evil hunter? Hercule Poirot. And finally, revealed to me courtesy of imdb, Harry was none other than both the Predator and also the super tall doctor from one of my favorite childhood shows, Misfits of Science. If you want to watch a bunch of actors that you recognize doing stupid things in beautiful scenery, then this is just the movie for you.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ******----
A Bennett   AMC 20 Newport on the Levee   16 November 2002

I will never be unentertained during the watching of Harry Potter films. However, the films (it seems) will always lack the emotional heft that made me fall in love with the books. And that, after I've left the theatre, makes me sad.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets *******---
Julie Gephart   Borrowed DVD   01 July 2003

In a miraculous turn of events, I was not incredibly annoyed by the CGI character Dobby. This prompts me to tentatively reconsider watching the Hulk. As a side note, this DVD had the most extra features of any DVD I have personally encountered.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ****------
A Bennett   DVD borrowed from Dad   25 August 2003

Between this and film one, the children look like they've aged ten years. Seriously. A lot of the acting in these films is not so great. Especially the girl's. The actor who plays Harry seems to have good and bad days--making his performance uneven. Also, I imagine there is a lot of blue screen work, staring into nothing. And we've all seen how that can affect the work of even good actors, such as Ewan MacGregor. The boy playing Ron is the only one who seems to consistently get his character right, but then, maybe Ron's an easier job than the other two. The large mystery of this script, to me, is that the main plot that holds the novel together (Tom Riddle/Ginny Weasley/the diary) is barely dealt with. Adaptations can be hard to get right (see the many treatments of Little Women), but with the kind of budget a film like this must command, and source material that would already seem to lend itself to the screen, you wouldn't think that the credits would roll and you'd feel like something was missing--like you'd watched an illustrated (but not interpreted) version of the novel, paging through fully-realized sets without any emotional investment, save what you brought from your travels among the books. Reading a Harry Potter novel is one of the more enjoyable pasttimes of the last decade. It is a pity and a disappointment that watching a Harry Potter movie is so far less than that.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire *********-
Casey     27 March 2006

This movie really surprised me. I liked the way the movie was laid out. The dragons were awesome. I def. recommend this movie.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban *******---
A Bennett   Milford; post-Cracker Barrel Feast of Feasts   05 June 2004

This is my favorite Potter book. At least to date. The film, while light years beyond the first two, begs the question: if replacing the director made such a marked improvement, how about replacing the screenwriter as well? So many things in this film are engaging. Unfortunately the stripped-down-from-the-book film plot (which boils down to the last third of the film) does not particularly end up being one of them. If the novel were to be properly adaptaed, I'd expect a film more like the mind-bending brawl about identity that was The Usual Suspects. Instead we get something more like what the Olsen Twins' first fantasy film might be like. But that's a mark against the script, as the end result of a film can only be as good as its most basic part. Novel author Rowling gave them more to work with, and that is wherein my regret lies.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone *****-----
A Bennett   DVD borrowed from Dad   24 August 2003

This movie's music was LOUD. I didn't notice it when I first saw it in the theatre, but on this re-watch OHMYGOODNESSITHINKIMIGHTBEDEAFNOW. Dave and I spent more than an hour and a half desperately trying to locate the deleted scenes among all the frou-frou of each of the two DVDs to no use. We, two technology savvy adults, failed. Eh, what's that? Speak up, Sonny. Can't hear you over the MEEEYOOOOOOSICK.

Hart's War *****-----
Mike Gadd   jumpy video at home   16 June 2003

This movie needed to pick a direction and go with it. It had some good war action and some decent Grisham courtroom stuff, but not enough of either to make it work. I generally like a serious Bruce Willis, but he just stood around looking scruffy. Colin Farrell looked amazingly awake despite being up every night watching out for guys tiptoe-ing around. How do you tiptoe in combat boots anyway?

Haunted Mansion ****------
Mike Gadd   dvd rental   14 January 2005

Eddie Murphy doing the silly dad routine. Special effects weren't too bad. A little creepy at times.

Head-on (Gegen die Wand) *********-
Steve Gadd   Avalon Theatre   26 February 2005

Two burned-out, miserable second-generation German Turks meet at the hospital after suicide attempts. They decide to get married, allowing Sibel to escape family pressure, and Cahit to possibly not see her slash her wrists again. The loveless marriage of convenience gives her the freedom she wants, him some decent cooking, and begins a gritty, touching love story.

Heat *********-
Steve Gadd   DVD at home   04 May 2003

Michael Mann delivers the goods in this L.A. crima saga. Even at three hours, it's hard to pull away for a bathroom break. When I saw it on the big screen, I was amazed by the eye-popping bank heist scene, in which the police shootout spills out into the downtown streets (later emulated by some real-life hoodlums). In the home viewing, I was more taken by the craft of the rest of the film, each scene creating a mood and developing the story. The April 2003 issue of Vanity Fair has a nice homage to the film. An unsympathetic but captivating review here: http://www.culturecourt.com/F/LR/reviews.htm

Heaven *********-
Tony Pisarenkov   DVD at home   11 January 2007

Sure, a Kieslowski screenplay being realized after his death by Tom Tykwer (with a soundrack by Arvo Part to boot) is a cineaste's wet dream, but even without name dropping, Heaven is truly powerful. Not overwrought Hollywood power, but real, subtle and deeply affecting intensity.

Heaven Can Wait (1943) ******----
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   23 April 2004

I believe Waylon said it best when he said, “She never complains of the bad times or the bad things he’s done. She just talks about the good times they’ve had and all the good times to come.” Here, Gene Tierney was the Good Hearted Woman in love with Don Ameche’s Good Timin’ Man, and, ok, she briefly tried to leave him once, but mostly she just accepted his playboy ways and constant lies as part of his “charm.” The story was told through the somewhat superfluous filter of reviewing his deeds at the gates of hell after death, where Satan finally proclaimed that he didn’t deserve to be in hell because he had “made a great many women very happy.” So, there you go. Now you know the correct strategy for moral navigation in life.

Heavenly Creatures ******----
Julie Gephart   Mysteriously Free HBO   14 February 2003

Wow. What a thoroughly... disturbing movie. Young teen girls in New Zealand live inside their own fantasy world and calmly plan a murder. Directed by champion of NZ Peter Jackson.

Heist *****-----
Julie Gephart   DVD Rental   16 November 2002

This would have been an interesting enough short film, but as it was, I found the pacing to be excruciatingly slow. How many times can I watch Gene Hackman put on a different uniform... and belt... and hat... and toolkit... and pick up his coffee... all at exactly the pace that an old man would move in real life.

Heist ***-------
Steve Gadd   DVD   25 February 2005

This movie is a festival of plot holes, wooden acting, and stilted dialogue -- the dialogue apparently director Mamet's trademark (he used a metronome to coach his actors in earlier movies). The opening scene was just fine, why couldn't the rest of the film keep up?

Hellboy ******----
Kristin Schrock   Showcase Cinemas   03 April 2004

I don't know anything about the comic book, and this movie didn't really inspire any curiosity. Not bad. Not great. Ron Perlman is surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) good. It made me wish he did more stuff. It also featured (for Julie) a box of kittens in the one truly funny scene.

Henry Fielding's Tom Jones *********-
A Bennett   Taped off TV: A&E Original Mini-series   09 November 2002

A terriffic marriage of cast, tone, and script, this 6-hour miniseries manages to do the near-impossible: poke liberal, good-hearted fun at its author, plot, and characters--without sacrificing the audience's emotional investment in the story and characters. Impressive--and a hoot as well, though it does take the first installment to really get into it.

Hero ******----
Mike Gadd   dvd rental   04 January 2005

The Chinese certainly know how to make a beautiful movie. Not always easy to follow, but at least it looks good. I have a hard time appreciating the need for all the peter pan flying around. How is that supposed to fit into the movie? The fighting is amazing enough without having everyone bounce off of treetops and skipping across the lake.

Hero ********--
Steven Krise   My Basement   22 September 2006

The lushly colorful cinematography and startingly poetic fight choreography more than made up for the fact that the movement of their lips didn't match the words they were saying. What the fuck? My fwfr: Nameless warrior stops war.

Hidalgo ******----
A Bennett   Giant Cineplex. Root Beer libation at my side.   20 March 2004

Peter Mensah is **MIGHTY**. And this film is entertaining--and pretty much entirely without pretension. Points for Omar Sharif and my not knowing the ending.

Hidalgo ****------
Mike Gadd   Borrowed video   03 September 2004

No wonder this movie didn't last 2 weeks at the theater. Some nice scenery and all but the story was just pitiful. Wooden acting combined with bad stereotypes. Hurricane coverage is more exciting.

Hidden in Silence: A Lifetime Original Movie ********--
A Bennett   taped from Lifetime in 1996   28 March 2003

I hate the actress Kellie Martin. Usually, I would be able to move on from there, but she keeps playing characters in TV films that I want to see. So, the hatred is perpetuated with some resentment. Anyway, this film is one of few Holucaust accounts (and a true one) that ends well and happily for all involved. A fifteen-year-old girl begins taking in Jews from the Polish ghetto. By the end of the war, she is hiding more than 15 in her attic. If an inspirational film exists, this is probably it. If only I could find the book to read that it is based on. That's sure to be Kellie Martin-free, right?

High Fidelity ******----
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   23 July 2004

Long have the women of my tribe gathered around winter fires to make tellings of the Coo-sak. How glad it is to look upon him, how pleasant to hear his speech! So say they all, the women of my tribe, with one voice. Unto me alone does the bright Coo-sak appear dim of countenance, shielding the glory that he chooses to shine forth upon all others. These mysteries are unknowable to me.

High Noon ********--
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   19 July 2003

The cowboy part was great, but this had the strangest "romantic" non-chemistry that I've ever seen. Gary Cooper generally managed to give the impression that he had forgotten Grace Kelly was even in the room -- even while delivering dialog to her -- at their wedding.

Hijacked: Flight 285 ***-------
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   21 February 2003

Xena's nemesis Callisto disguises herself as a modern-day woman who helps hijack an airplane. Being the female, she goes through some qualms of conscience feeling sorry for the "cute" (obnoxious) kid who had the seat next to her, but in the end she stays strong in her evil ways.

History of Violence ******----
Kristin Schrock   Danbarry Dollar Saver   02 December 2005

This seems like two movies mashed together. One movie is sort of like a reverse Witness--small town diner owner must re-enter seedy underworld in order to return to quiet life. The other is a much more interesting movie about the nature of violence, as something we are all capable off. But together, there's something missing. Also, Viggo Mortensen just can't play normal guy. He tries, but he's got a bit of the creepy-factor going on.

Hitch *****-----
Kristin Schrock   In-Flight Movie   03 June 2005

This movies proved two things to me: 1) Will Smith is incredibly gifted at making utter crap somewhat entertaining and 2) asthmatics are funny.

Hitch ******----
Mike Gadd   Borrowed dvd   06 August 2005

The first half of this movie was quite fun. We like Will Smith and Doug from 'King of Queens'. Genuine laughter could be heard several times. Then it jumped the shark about half way through. It decided to become a serious movie and forgot it's purpose and direction.

Hitch ****------
Steve Gadd   DVD   14 August 2005

This film would be so easy to pitch to a producer. The James Bond of matchmakers runs into Manhattan's most avowedly single tabloid gossip columnists, and sparks fly. The script goes on autopilot. While I'm not a fan of the genre, this kind of movie can be entertaining if the writing is sharp. Alas, the writing, and the movie, were dull.

Hollywood Homicide ***-------
Steven Krise   My basement   17 October 2005

I believe the screenwriter and director made use of every single "cop / buddy movie" cliche imagined since 1971. No, seriously, I defy you to find a cliche that didn't show up in this turd. Harrison Ford was the only saving grace.

Hopscotch (1980) ********--
A Bennett   TiVo'd from Television   12 May 2003

When the world's cleverest spy not only goes a little crazy, but also goes rogue, there's no telling which espionage agency in which country will be the last to suffer the consequences of both his exploits and his tell-all book. Former CIA agent Kendig makes his way gracefully across whole continents, displaying a skill and intellect far-beyond using guns or kung-fu. If you were in a jam, this is the "super-hero" you'd wish you could call. Also stars a young-ish Sam Waterson. A favorite of my brother's and mine since we were quite young.

Horatio Hornblower IV: The Wrong War *******---
A Bennett   Owned VHS   24 March 2004

Has under-explored, unnecessarily inserted 'romance' plot that gums up the action. After all, it's Capt. Pellew and Archie's relationship to Hornblower that really keep these films afloat.

Horatio Hornblower: Duty ******----
A Bennett   TiVo'd from A&E   07 December 2003

Spending as much time as I do squirming over the plotline of Hornblower's positively abysmal marriage choice, I can still say that it is an exquisite pain. After all, it's never easy watching the kids grow up--as they surely must by the eighth film entry. A true pity it may likely be two more years before film nine sees the light of day.

Horatio Hornblower: Loyalty ******----
A Bennett   TiVo'd from A&E   03 December 2003

Production values and budget take a hit in this, the seventh entry into the series. But if you've grown to love the characters since the excitingly filmed-on-board-ship film one, it's not too hard to keep expectations at bay.

Horatio Hornblower: The Duchess and the Devil ********--
A Bennett   owned VHS   17 December 2003

"No, you are untrustworthy because you *lied*." - Hornblower to the unmasked actress Kitty Cobham, only recently masquerading as the Duchess of Wharfedale. Third in a series of eight. A Spanish prison, a faux Duchessa, secret dispatches for His Majesty hidden in a lady's drawers, a thought-lost crew member re-found. Mutiny. A prison break and solitary confinement in a hole in the ground, capped off with an heroic sea storm rescue, news of Hornblower's promotion to Lieutenant and his (and his men's) release from the prison solely on the merit of their exemplary conduct. ...and I didn't even mention the flirting or the well-filmed locales. Or the boats. The gorgeous boats.

Horatio Hornblower: The Duel ********--
A Bennett   owned VHS   17 December 2003

First film in the series (now of 8 total). Originally titled in the UK, "The Even Chance", after a chapter of the same name in the C. S. Forester novel, "Lieutenant Hornblower". This film covers a lot of ground and does it well. Filmed entirely onboard an actual ship, sailing on an actual sea, you can't beat the visuals and the feeling you are really there. Great cast.

Horatio Hornblower: The Fire Ships ********--
A Bennett   owned VHS   18 December 2003

"I have seen it in Smyrna in '85, Mr. Hornblower. It is the Black Death--the Plague!"-Mr. Tapling, of His Majesty King George's Diplomatic Service. The time spent on the ensuing 'quarantined' Plague Ship, La Reve, as Hornblower becomes de facto captain (though only a Midshipman in point of fact) is among the best episodes in the series. I should like very much to go sailing. What gorgeous boats. Second of eight. Originally titled in the UK, "The Examination for Lieutenant". For some reason, we Americans needed to have it re-titled "The Fire Ships". (Well, I do love fire.) I will not speculate on the perceived need for re-naming it, nor what that says about us as a nation. Starring our old friend Wedge Antilles as a crazed over-zealous war hero captain that inevitably is unmasked as more a problem than an asset.

Hot Fuzz *******---
Tony Pisarenkov   DVD chez G&N   18 August 2007

Very, very funny.

Hotel Rwanda ******----
Steve Gadd   Reston Town Center   15 January 2005

Paul Rusesabagina was the Schindler of Kigali during the Rwandan nightmare. Powerful and guilt-trippy, without any "I didn't do enough!" melodrama.

Hotel Rwanda *******---
Ray Hunley   Netflix DVD   05 May 2005

Uplifting and chilling portrait of a man protecting refugees during the Rwandan genocide.

House of 1,000 Corpses ***-------
Ray Hunley   HBO On Demand   13 November 2005

I don't even like horror movies.

This one was derivative (although I admit there's a fine line between derivative and homage), witless, unimaginatively directed, and just generally lame. One point each for casting Karen Black and Walton Goggins, even though the latter went out like a punk.

House of 1000 Corpses ********--
Steven Krise   My Basement (Tivo'd from IFC)   29 March 2006

The plaintext of the storyline is so horror-show conventional as to be a cliche, but Rob Zombie has managed to elevate this tired medium to produce a true piece of art. The cinematography was compelling making use of split screens, odd camera angles and numerous strange vignettes that were either tangential moodsetters or a clever mechanism to foreshadow. Of course, the soundtrack was kickass. According to fwfr, I'm alone in my praise for this flick, but I'll stand by my statements.

House of Flying Daggers ********--
Steve Gadd   Loews Georgetown 14   31 December 2004

A delicious piece of work that demands comparison to "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and compares quite favorably.

House of Games ******----
Steve Gadd   DVD   27 November 2003

A psychiatrist gets caught up in a group of con artists who, with the goodwill con artists around the world are known for, agree to take her in and teach her the game. Good chance to see Ricky Jay in action.

House of Sand and Fog *******---
Steve Gadd   DVD   24 February 2005

I remember seeing the trailers and thinking that this looked like a bore: some house, the ocean, Gandhi, whatever. But the movie had me hooked halfway through, with its flawed, very human personalities brought together in a realistic scenario -- no gold ingots, car chases, or kidnappings. Great performances, of course. But the tragic twist seemed a bit contrived, a way to engineer the maximum emotional response from the viewer. It's sad all right, but it feels a bit manipulative.

Houseboat ********--
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   24 June 2003

This was a wonderful movie. I’m so glad I finally stumbled across one during my long trek through the barren land of basic cable. Cary Grant, Sophia Loren, three adorable children, and a fixer-upper houseboat – winners all the way. Unfortunately, I suppose it was a romantic comedy, but I don’t care – I liked it anyway. It was charming and witty and sensitive and everyone was beautiful, and that’s really all I could want from a movie. (Well, you know, at least all I could want if I’m taking a break from graphic bloodshed and jaw-dropping fight scenes.)

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ******----
A Bennett   Sneak Preview @ AMC 20 Newport-on-the-Levee   25 January 2003

Matthew McConnaughey. **thud**

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ******----
Kristin Schrock   Theatre   25 January 2003

Really a 6.5--I have to stop seeing romantic comedies. Please, someone stop me. They really just depress me. And this one wasn't any worse than any others. M.M wears some nice t-shirts, and singing "You're So Vain" is actually the climax of the movie. And, if you were watching, because you are in love with the line, "I was a *#$*#@ bet?" then you would be sorely disappointed.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days *****-----
Steve Gadd   DVD   21 July 2003

"A fabulously fresh and totally entertaining battle of the sexes." Or at least somewhat fresh and mildly entertaining.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days *******---
Mike Gadd   dvd   06 August 2003

I didn't expect to laugh this hard for this movie. It's not often I have to rewind a movie because I've missed some lines due to a good belly laugh. The two guys from the office had more than their share of good lines. I also enjoyed the 'sensitive movie goer' and the 'old concession stand worker'. The wheels started to fall off at the end but overall it was a pleasant experience.

How to Marry a Millionaire ******----
Julie Gephart   Basic cable   17 December 2003

Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe, and Betty Grable conspire to live for a year in a penthouse they can’t afford in order to meet millionaires and lure them into marriage. After all, as the stupid people are earnestly informed, “Marriage, well its… it’s just the biggest thing you can do in life!” Dudes, just don’t let Marie Curie hear you talking like that. Soon they are all worn down by pesky old love and end up marrying men who are not rich. In conclusion, we learn that love is more important than money, but marriage is still the biggest thing of all.

Hustle and Flow *********-
Chris   Theater   01 August 2005

Terrence Howard's performance is worth the price of the ticket alone. This film could have been a disaster...a Memphis pimp who dreams of becoming a rap star...but fantastic acting, an excellent script and a simple storyline make this a wonderful film that has the sweetness of a "It's a Wonderful Life". Avoid it if you have any hang-ups about language or mature themes.

Hustle and Flow *******---
Steve Gadd   Countryside Megaplex   12 August 2005

A very good movie, with another (after "Crash") great performance in the lead role. Avoid it if you have any hang-ups about subject-verb agreement or standard pronunciation.