Why Bootlegs are rubbish

I'm not sure exactly when it started, but at some point in 2001 everyone seemed to be driven into ecstasy by the relatively straightforward concept of taking two songs and, you know, mixing them together. However it started, it was Freelance Hellraiser's overlaying of Christina Aguilera's vocals from Genie in a Bottle onto a Strokes guitar riff that brought what became know as bootlegs to everyone's attention.

The resulting Stroke of Genieus found its way onto the radio, and within months Kylie Minogue was singing Can't Get You Out Of My Head over a backing of New Order's Blue Monday at the Brit awards, Missy Elliott was refusing George Michael permission to release a bootleg that mixed Faith with Get Ur Freak On, and to top it all the Sugababes hit the charts with Freak Like Me - a cover version of a bootleg!

But those mainstream instances are just the tip of the iceberg, the real mass of bootlegs are created and played away from the public gaze, in the bedrooms of devotees. With the prevalence of home computers these days, and the ready availability of audio editing software, it could be argued that Bootlegs are an extension of the DIY ethics of punk. Pretty much everybody can rip a CD or download a couple of MP3s, and cut and paste the resulting soundfiles to end up with a passable result. Everybody can, and to this day (despite claims that Bootlegs are over) everybody does, but the real question is not whether they can, but whether they should.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against remixing in general, and there are even remixers who have been associated with the world of bootlegging who manage to create something original and entertaining from unlikely source material, with Osymyso being a prime example. But surely this is the exception rather than the rule - for the most part we get amateurish rehashes of nu-metal guitars overlaid with R&B vocals, and whilst it is tempting to suggest that it was mildly entertaining the first time, even that is questionable.

Where is the creativity, where is the self expression? Whilst remixers add something of themselves to their work, the makers of bootlegs shy away from any such creativity, as adding something of their own would defeat the object. This is because the object is not creative, the object is not even musical. No, the object is to create an audio joke. It may be DIY, but I don't really see the lineage from punk here, what I see is Peter Sellers reciting Hard Day's Night as Richard III, Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, and the Two Ronnies. You tell me, is that punk?

So here is my message to bootleggers: Please stop. If all you are interested in is impressing us all with how wickedly amusing you are then why not piss off down the pub with your mates. If you feel that you have a genuine musical gift then why not use it to do something original and creative instead.