"There are certain forms of stupidity that one has to be highly intelligent and educated to commit." - Dr. J. Budziszewski

"There is a major difference between Ignorance and Stupidity... Ignorance is a lack of knowledge that can be fixed by imparting that knowledge; Stupidity is knowing better and doing it anyway; there's no way to fix that." - me

"Two wrongs are only the beginning." - Author Unknown

"I don't let my mouth say nothin' my head can't stand." - Louis Armstrong.

"On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten." - Author Unknown

The difference between earning a good living and living a good life, is enjoying what you do. - Author Unknown

"Television has done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about it as well as contributing to the need for it." - Alfred Hitchcock (1899 -1980), Anglo-American director, screenwriter and producer

"There's a thin line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot" - Author Unknown

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. - Author Unknown

I am in shape. Round is a shape. - Author Unknown

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. - Author Unknown

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic. - Author Unknown

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. - Author Unknown

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. - Author Unknown

Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out? - Author Unknown

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just stand there. - Author Unknown

"New York City: No matter how many times I visit this great city I'm always struck by the same thing: a yellow taxi cab." ~ Scott Adams

"I got so frustrated with the infernal contraption that I traded it for a dog, and SHOT the dog." ~ Mark Twain

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. - Author Unknown

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. - Author Unknown

There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year. - Author Unknown

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. - Author Unknown

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. - Author Unknown

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path. - Author Unknown

Anything free is worth what you pay for it. - Author Unknown

It hurts to be on the cutting edge. - Author Unknown

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is. - Author Unknown

I don't get even, I get odder. - Author Unknown

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. - Author Unknown

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it. - Author Unknown

I am a nutritional overachiever. - Author Unknown

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours. - Author Unknown

I am having an out of money experience. - Author Unknown

I plan on living forever! So far, so good! - Author Unknown

Not afraid of heights -- afraid of widths. - Author Unknown

A day without sunshine is like night. - Author Unknown

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. - Author Unknown

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. - Author Unknown

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. - Author Unknown

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. - Author Unknown

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. - Author Unknown

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. - Author Unknown

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes, age comes alone. - Author Unknown

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. - Author Unknown

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing!! - Author Unknown

"Some people never go crazy. What horrible lives they must live." - Henry Chinaski

"Efficiency is intelligent laziness." -David Dunham

"Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future." - Niels Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist

"History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives." - Abba Eban (b. 1915) South African-born, Israeli diplomat and statesman

"A man is as happy as he makes up his mind to be." --Abraham Lincoln

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." - Winnie the Pooh

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost" - Charles Caleb Colton

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -Mencius

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." -Mencius

"Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life." -Mencius

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies." -Mencius

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." - Tim McGraw

"Careful. We don't want to learn anything from this." - Calvin

"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin

"I find that the harder I work, the luckier I become." --Thomas Jefferson

I went to the Missing Persons Bureau. No one was there. --?Steven Wright?

The winds and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators. -Edward Gibbon

A diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor the man perfected without trials. -Chinese Proverb

The best way out of a difficulty is through it. -Anonymous

The misfortune of the wise is better than the prosperity of the fool. -Epicurus

A time of disarray is also a moment of opportunity. -Frederick Ferre

I'm at that age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. -George Burns

Aging is bad, but consider the alternative. -Anonymous

I'm now at the age where I've got to prove that I'm just as good as I never was. -Rex Harrison

If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very very few people die past the age of a hundred. -George Burns

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. -Tom Lerer

Adolescence: a stage between infancy and adultery -Foolish Dictionary

When I grow up I want to be a little boy. -Joseph Heller

The four stages of man are: Infancy, Childhood, Adolescence and obsolescence. -Art Linkletter

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. -Bob Hope

There will come a time when you think everything is finished. That will be the beginning. -Louis L'Amour

He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils. -Francis Bacon

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true. -John Lilly

Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no one else has thought. -Albert von Nagyrapolt Szent Gyorgyi

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are. -Unknown

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it. -Unknown

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. -Ashleigh Brilliant

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. -Andres S. Tannenbaum

The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good. -Unknown

Virtue is its own reward, but then so is sin! -Unknown

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. -Walter Bagehot

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp -- or what's a heaven for? -Robert Browning

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address. -Lane Olinghouse

We may become the makers of our fate when we have ceased to pose as its prophets. -Karl Popper

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Emerson

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. -Malcolm S. Forbes

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. -Will Durant

It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. -Alec Bourne

When asked how much educated men were superior to those uneducated, Aristotle answered, As much as the living are to the dead. -Diogenes Laertius

The education of a man is never completed until he dies. -Robert E. Lee

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. -Derek Bok

Education: A debt due from present to future generations. -George Peabody

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. -Hector Louis Berlioz

Education...has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. -George Macaulay Trevelyan

A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

They that will not be counseled cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you over the knuckles. -Benjamin Franklin

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. -Oscar Wilde

The successful business man sometimes makes his money by ability and experience; but he generally makes it by mistake. -Gilbert K. Chesterson

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -Olivier

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. -F. P. Jones

The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience. -Unknown

Forecasting is very difficult, especially if it's about the future. -Edgar R. Fiedler

One cannot change the past, but one can ruin the present by worrying over the future. -Anonymous

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards." -- Unknown

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." -- Dave Gardner

"We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are." -- Talmud

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have." (Author Unknown)

You can't see the whole sky through a bamboo tube. (Japanese)

Don't let grass grow on the path of friendship. (Blackfoot Indian)

Postpone today's anger until tomorrow. (Tagalog, Filipino)

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great. " - Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

"His ignorance is encyclopedic" - Abba Eban (1915-)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. " - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. " - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. " - Henry Ford (1863-1947)

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." - Paul Erdos

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." - Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859-1930)

"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." - Vince Lombardi

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell

"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down." - Jimmy Durante

"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street." - Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." - Frank Zappa

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint Exupery

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." - Isaac Asimov

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." - Carl Sagan

"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts." - G. B. Burgin

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford (1863-1947)

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it" - David Henry Thoreau (1817-1862)

"Luck is the residue of design." - Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. " - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Wit is educated insolence. " - Aristotle (284-322 B.C.)

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. " - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. " - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. " - John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. " - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. " - Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men. " - Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

"The covers of this book are too far apart. " - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. "- Abba Eban (1915-)

"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest. " - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. "- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized. " - Sun Tzu

" The best way to predict the future is to invent it. " - Alan Kay

"Never mistake motion for action. " - Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Well done is better than well said. " - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"The average person thinks he isn't. "- Father Larry Lorenzoni

"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. " - Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. " - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. " - Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. " - Tom Clancy

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. " - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. " - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Woman was God's second mistake." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction." - General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

Eternity is just Time on an ego trip. -Lily Tomlin

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."-George Bush, US President

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them."-George Bush, US President

"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand."-Duffy Daugherty , football coach and sports analyst

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"-Lee Iacocca

"Please provide the date of your death."-from an IRS letter

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."-Dan Quayle

"We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."-Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."-Dan Quayle

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."-Dan Quayle

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."-Dan Quayle

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."-Dan Quayle

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."-Dan Quayle

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."-Brooke Shields

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."-Samual Goldwyn

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."-Steve Martin