Alvin's Great Big Adventure

One day, a young guy named Kyle was walking downtown Truro with his cousin, Matt. Kyle decided to go to the Bargain Shop and purchase a disposeable camera for $6.97, a can of pickled beets for $0.97 and a stuffed teddy bear that he named Alvin for only $6.47.... you see that? $6.47, what a deal.

After Matt took a picture of Kyle, they decided to climb Truro's highest building- the old post office. They left poor helpless Alvin on the ground to use as a target while Kyle dropped the can of pickled beets 5 stories onto Alvin. Thankfully, Alvin wasn't hurt, but he was shook up from the ordeal.

As you can see... the bottle of beets is in mid-air in this picture, it's the black circle near Alvin.

This is just how close the beets came to poor Alvin. Luckily he wasen't hit by any shatterd glass. And even if he was, it would just bounce off.

After that, Kyle decided to pick him up and show the whole world how filthy poor Alvin's fur was.

After that, they saw a church, it had a display of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, and a donkey, but some idiot stole Jesus.. god bless, so, we decided to fill in the missing baby... See if you can spot Alvin...

Oh my God (no pun intended..), Alvin, what the hell are you doing there??!!! In the middle of Prince Street on a Saturday at lunch time?? Are you crazy?? No he isn't because he can't move....

Alvin, what are you doing way out there in the middle of the road. And not on a cross walk at that. You could get hurt.

OUCH!!!
Now... a person would wonder if someone would save Alvin... but how could they?? He didn't even see it coming. Have mercy....

Alvin... when you are being kidnapped by a guy in a trenchcoat, and a baffoon with orange hair that looks like a mop, what's your first instinct?? to run?? well.. looks like you didn't run too far...

Doesn't it look funny?? Seeing a poor helpless, beet juiced teddy bear on the train tracks?? Now, I bet you would expect the train to come in... not a freight train tho....

NOOOOO!!!! If you look closely, you will see him under the front wheels...

Mommy... is he dead yet?? No dear, i see him... just a bit past the light post...

Well, after getting hit by a train, we felt sorry for poor Alvin, so we went to find him...

Awww... doesn't he look adorable under the rail car?? Well, lets see how Alvin looks after that episode.

See... he needs a shower now... Now tell me, who in their right mind would ever have a shower with a little bear that likes to get under big object?? Not me... Well, Alvin has been through enough, so... we decided to end it for him...

Well... it would look really weird if you saw 2 people burrying a stuffed teddy bear, so we creamated him...

Holy cow poop!!! He exploded!!! Who would have guessed a teddy bear was flamable.

Well... now we all see how careful Matt is when it comes to fire... he was the first on the scene... jumping on it... good idea numb nuts, how on earth would fire burn on the road? yeah.. that's what i thought...

Awww... look at his cute face, reminds me of one of those Christian Childrens Adoption fund of Canada commercials, look at his face for 10 seconds, doesn't he make you want to pay just 10 cents a day?? well.. that 10 cents would go into my pocket while other teddy bears burn and die.

BUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! Burn baby BURN!!!!!!!!!! >:D BURN BURN BURN!!!

Why won't that damn price tag burn?? c'mon, it survived a passenger train, a can of beets, 2 cars, 15 minutes of burning by two lighters... ERG, and it's made out of paper, and it still won't burn!!!

Let us bow our heads and pray in silence and darkness.........at least the creamation was a success.