Presenting...
Alvins Adventure Number Six!!!
Alvin Is A Jackass!

Yes, it's that time of... time again.  Kyle and his friends Chelsea, her boyfriend Robbie and Kyle's very own trusty sidekick Anne all went through New Glasgow and area to create their very own Alvins Adventure.  Thus proving that not only Alvin is a Jackass, but so too are the people involved!!

Feature Presentation

Our Alvin:

Yes, our Alvin is a Parteh!  He actually sings,  but that part of him was already broken, so we said screw it, we'll screw him.... we'll use him....
Well, our first stunt involves my car... lets pin Alvin to my antenna!  Amazing
Well, what can you do with a car?? 
 

Drive it?
Spot Alvin....   While you're at it, spot Robbie.
  Alvin's for sale?   Heh,  I'll take the bike.
   Even with a broken wrist and a crushed foot, Kyle can still hurt him.
   Kyle has a broken wrist, and Alvin has a broken... ego?
    We make it up to Alvin. 
First, he needs a condom, preferrably chocolate flavoured, to cover his mouth.  Secondly,  two is better than one.
   Here's an illusion,  in the background, there is a poster that clearly states what is going on.
    Like I said,  two is better than one.
    No need to hide Robbie... Then again, we'd much rather look that the fireworks than you.... 
Okay..   they are playing doctor with him....
Now she is playing doctor with him...  his backside..
   Wooooaaaahhh!!! Did she ever play doctor with him!!  Crickey!!
Now that's deep penetration.
   Smoking Kills.
A person can loose their vocal chords as a result of smoking.
     Now, lets see what's in there.
   Heh,  just a bunch of hot air.
    Woah!!!!   STOP THINKING!!!!
      Yeah, he's on fire, too hot to touch.
        Can you hear me now?
     You know what burnt Kraft Dinner looks like??   Well,  we're cooking it.....  not really,  but it sure smells like it.
     Did we mention that we're doing all of these fireworks at a beach??    Melmerby Beach.
     Looking good....
                             Doh!
  And we saw this sign when we were leaving
Alvin can fly.
Fly like an anvil.
  Die like...   something inanimate dying.
  Or let Anne kill it.
  Or Robbie's foot.
  Who will flip over first... Chelsea... or Alvin?
     Can't.... quite....  reach him....
     So Chelsea does what Kyle can't.
    But,  Kyle hits him where it counts.
   Well, Anne is penetrating him yet again.... this time with a tire wrench.
    Looks like she....   needs to go back to doctor school.
            JACKASS!
    Come on now!  It's a group activity.
     Doctor...   is that normal?
     I poop funny colors.
      He sure does.
        Kyle can do it!
Uh...   Kyle??   Kyle??  *shakes head*
   The classic...   teeter totter.
      Man vs. Thing
          Man wins.
          Alvin enrolled in flying lessons.
Alvin failed his lessons.
                          Whatch'a doing?
Playing with my bear.
                            Why?
Because I bought it.
                           Can we play?
No!
                      Alvin is the gate keeper....  He can keeep that gate.
                          As I said before, smoking kills.
   Smoking kills, and now he's lost a very important part of his bum.
                    Got paper?
                      Robbie can always make people happy.
         See,  he can do the happy dance!
                             This is the recreation of when 
                   Man met fire.
                             Methane + Fire =   ouch
       Toilet paper will only aggrevate it.
      Now who wants to play doctor?
                      Awwww....  lets name her.... Minnie!
        3lbs of fireworks... and a bear.
       Those weren't Kyle's crutches.
                        Ouch
                         Meet half-baked Alvin
      Seriously,   When that firework went off, Minnie scared herself shitless.
      I see the car!
                              Sauna
                        Ha!  Firework up his ass.
                   Off with his brains.
        Alvin...  what did I say about smoking?
    TRUE QUOTE from Brooke Shields,   U.S. Surgeon General of 2000,

"Smoking kills.  If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
       Lets prepare him for the burial.
                          Self explanitory.
A VERY special thanks to the following people:
Anne Eldridge   --for not thinking that I'm crazy, and finding Alvin.
Chelsea Allen --for the location,  pictures, camera usage, and finding someone in good health to run away from firworks.
Robbie Someone --for lighting the fireworks, and keeping me sane near 2 girls.
A Nice Lady at Panhandler in the Highland Square Mall --for putting a discount on Alvin, and not acting 'bothered' by our story.
Melmerby Beach Staff --for not finding us.
Minnie --for scaring yourself shitless, and occupying the girls while we had fun.
And Our usual Thanks to:  The police for not catching us!   Nyah!